The Maverick football team has adopted a new uniform for the upcoming 2024 season.

“Our uniforms from the past two seasons have honestly been boring. I mean, just white numbers and a Mavroon base? Where is the creativity? These new uniforms, however, will revolutionize the game,” Transfer QB Russell Wilson said.

The new threads will use an ugly “vomit” yellow base to really catch people’s eyes and even potentially blind them.The Mavericks have also taken inspiration from the concernigly high amounts of drinking  and have fittingly added a beer can.

There is also a giant weed leaf above the back nameplate to honor CMU’s and Colorado’s culture. Similarly, the uniforms feature a weirdly shaped cigarette below the numbers.

“I think this design will really give us an advantage on the field. With everything going on on these beauties, no way a team can focus on executing their plays. Plus it lets everyone else know what we’re all about: hard nose, muscular football,” Head Coach Bilbo Baggins said.

The poop stain shoulder stripes reflect the current state of the players’ dormitory bathrooms. Yum!

The pants will be an ugly brown color with retro flowers on the front. The backside will have a comedic printed butt to distract the opposing team. Who can keep a clear head when looking at that?

The uniforms also feature interesting spots below the front MESA lettering in a random order that vaguely look like male genitalia.

Players are psyched to represent CMU and everything it truly means to be a Maverick.

The Mavericks believe that this uniform combination will bring more fans out to games, and will also be selling jerseys in the bookstore for only $200. What a steal!

The Maverick football team has adopted a new uniform for the upcoming 2024 season.

“Our uniforms from the past two seasons have honestly been boring. I mean, just white numbers and a Mavroon base? Where is the creativity? These new uniforms, however, will revolutionize the game,” Transfer QB Russell Wilson said.

The new threads will use an ugly “vomit” yellow base to really catch people’s eyes and even potentially blind them. The Mavericks have also taken inspiration from the concerningly high amounts of drinking  and have fittingly added a beer can.

There is also a giant weed leaf above the back nameplate to honor CMU’s and Colorado’s culture. Similarly, the uniforms feature a weirdly shaped cigarette below the numbers.

“I think this design will really give us an advantage on the field. With everything going on these beauties, no way a team can focus on executing their plays. Plus it lets everyone else know what we’re all about: hard nose, muscular football,” Head Coach Bilbo Baggins said.

The poop stain shoulder stripes reflect the current state of the players’ dormitory bathrooms. Yum!

The pants will be an ugly brown color with retro flowers on the front. The backside will have a comedic printed butt to distract the opposing team. Who can keep a clear head when looking at that?

The uniforms also feature interesting spots below the front MESA lettering in a random order that vaguely look like male genitalia.

Players are psyched to represent CMU and everything it truly means to be a Maverick.

The Mavericks believe that this uniform combination will bring more fans out to games, and will also be selling jerseys in the bookstore for only $200. What a steal!