Battling the patriarchy one TikTok dance at a time, a gaggle of Mormon moms from Provo, Utah have shot to the number one spot on Hulu. “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” follows eight women navigating life in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as mothers, friends and social media influencers.
MomTok was formed by Taylor Frankie Paul as a way to demonstrate a new era of women in the Mormon Church. They drink alcohol, they have premarital sex, they get divorced, heck they even do Ketamine.
After a scandal centered around Paul’s “soft-swinging” habits with her ex-husband and close friends, Hulu picked up the story for eight episodes. The claims are never fully addressed and the extent to which the entire group engaged is never revealed.
Nearly everything these women do is peppered with hypocrisy. The morality mismatch is confusing but wildly captivating. Mormonism is understood to be a conservative, patriarchal and rigid religion. MomTok claims that refusing to adhere to these antiquated values is bucking the patriarchy and giving other women space to feel comfortable doing the same.
Classic forms of feminism are lost on these women. Instead, they capitalize on their youth, infantilize themselves, exploit their children and remain under the thumb of their husbands and the Church. Disrupting oppression is complex and these women should be a case study for that.
MomTok member Whitney Leavitt was accused by the group of exploiting her child by filming a TikTok dance video in a NICU hospital room with her near-dead child in the frame. While Leavitt vehemently denied that she was doing it for attention and money, the group called her out for it and tried to hold her accountable.
They openly talk about sex. One of the most shocking parts of the series was when Layla Taylor revealed that she had never had an orgasm. At age 22 and having birthed two children, her story is likely not uncommon and the group let her know that her sexual needs are valid and that her experience shouldn’t be normalized. It’s no surprise she’s going through a divorce during the show.
When Leavitt leaves the group after being called out too many times for harmful behavior, she decides to show up to a birthday party uninvited. The women are quick to let her know that she’s unwelcome and that the birthday girl is not her friend. They speak directly without fear of backlash, which is shocking and suprising considering how insular this culture can be.
Character accountability and sexual liberation are key for feminist progress, especially in such a regressive culture. These women are all the breadwinners in their family which is rare considering the Mormon Church discourages women from working at all. Utah curls aside, they’re setting a new standard for Mormon women, but not in the way I expected.
