Red Bull is overrated, and you shouldn’t drink it
Despite the plane stunts and the F1 team, Red Bull is a terrible drink, and we as a society need to stop drinking it. It lacks enough caffeine, it’s overpriced and most importantly, tastes like crap.
Let’s start with the caffeine, or more importantly, lack thereof. In the standard can of the original Red Bull, you’ll only get 148 milligrams of caffeine per 16 ounce can. When you look at an equitable competitor, such as Bang Energy, it more than doubles the amount of that sweet, succulent caffeine, with 300 mg.
Even if you don’t want to feel your skin tingling, you can purchase a white monster, which comes in at 160 mg. It’s also important to note that the most common size of a Red Bull is the 12 ounce variant, which has only 111 mg. Even in the same 12 ounces, both Alani and Celsius energy drinks come in at 200 mg.
While caffeine content is crucial to look at for the efficacy of your energy drink, price per mg is important as well. At Walmart, an 8.4 ounce can of Red Bull costs $2.38. With a shamefully low 77 mg of caffeine, you would end up paying a touch over three cents per miligram.
With a competitor, the 16 ounce variant of Bang energy, it is $1.98 for 16 ounces, including 300 mgs of caffeine. For the Bang, you pay less than one cent per mg of caffeine, making it a much more valuable option.
Among Monster, Celsius, Alani and Red Bull, Red Bull is by far the worst in dollars spent per caffeine acquired. Not only does Red Bull not have enough caffeine; you’re paying more for it.
Despite the advanced analytics, the simple fact is all Red Bulls just taste terrible. In building this conclusion, I was consistently told, “but you haven’t tried [flavor].” I promise, I have tasted your favorite flavor, and it sucks. If you think it’s good, you’ve fallen victim to the psychological operation that is Red Bull energy. They’ve never had a good limited edition flavor, and I have little hope that they ever will.
Red Bull is not just bad, it borders on a scam. It’s a multi-level marketing stunt akin to Lularoe, Scentsy, Doterra or anything on TikTok shop. I sincerely feel bad for its victims.
For the good of your pre-class boost, your wallet and mental health, I beg you, stop it. There are near infinite alternatives that are better by every measurable metric.
