Halloween is the best holiday of the year because it offers the most diversity in how you spend it.
You can be solitary and eat an entire bag of candy by yourself or spend your time with friends. With COVID-19 promising to make things complicated again, here are some Halloween do’s and don’ts for this year.
Do: Watch scary movies
Second only to Christmas in terms of watchable holiday movies, Halloween offers the perfect atmosphere for scaring yourself to sleep. Movies used to be a lot scarier before college; now, it’s easier to sleep knowing that if you’re going down, at least you won’t have to worry about your classes anymore. Here’s a few of my favorites:
The Thing (1982): Among Us is one of the most popular video games on the market right now. If you like that game, then maybe you’ll like The Thing: it’s just the right blend of mystery and suspense, mixed with some of the coolest, goriest practical effects you may find in a movie. It follows a team of people in Antarctica as they are hunted down by a creature that can impersonate them. If you’re not a fan of older movies, there was a prequel released in 2011 that captures a similar vibe.
The Descent (2005): The title of this movie predicted the course of American society. Filled with tense moments, this gory thriller follows an all-female crew of spelunkers as they take a horrifying journey under the Appalachian Mountains. It’s amazingly claustrophobic and a perfect horror movie.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010): Maybe you prefer some comedy in your horror. This movie is sort of a flip of horror tropes – a bunch of college students are “hunted down” by Tucker and Dale, two guys that just bought a vacation cabin. In reality, Tucker and Dale are just clumsy and well-meaning, and the college kids keep accidentally killing themselves, making the rest of the group think T&D are out to get them. It reminded me a lot of Zombieland in its tone.
Don’t: Trick or Treat
Even without COVID, it starts to get pretty weird to trick or treat when you’re in your 20’s. Luckily I don’t know too many of those people, since I left them behind in the third grade. Go buy a bag of candy at the store that you won’t have to share with someone else.
Do: Listen to some of the greatest hits
I was reading about some songs online that would go well on a Halloween playlist, and the whole thing blew my mind. Now, I don’t have the greatest taste in music. But there was a concerning number of sites that thought the word “monster” in the title meant the song was good for Halloween.
“The Monster” by Eminem is not a Halloween song. Neither is “Monster” by Imagine Dragons. Give me a break.
If you’re looking for something to get in the spooky mood, go listen to a remix of “Monster Mash,” “This is Halloween” or the Ghostbusters theme song. There’s a lot of material out there that’s not just the memetic picks I made.
Don’t: Hold a costume party
Social distancing should mean you won’t hold any large gatherings. Costume parties were already pretty lame anyway, once the novelty wears off and you just want to go home and stop talking to people. May I suggest doing literally anything else?
Do: Embrace the memes
The word “spoopy” is only funny once. But there are some pretty good memes this time of year that don’t involve talking like a first grader. May I suggest a certain dancing skeleton?
Don’t: Visit a haunted house
Not that there are many to go to anyways. Trust me, this is my favorite part of Halloween, and Grand Junction has offered some fun ones in the past. That being said, the only thing scarier than the monsters in a haunted house is dying of COVID.
This is the best holiday of the year. Let’s enjoy the scary atmosphere and autumn leaves, before November hits and we all want to leave the country.
