Since 1931 The Critter-In has served as the university’s student run newspaper, but that will be changing soon.
During a recent town hall session for Colorado Mesa University (CMU), President John Marshall announced that there would be some major changes going into next year.
“After the theatre project that we began in 2023, there were several options that were considered in moving forward. The things we discussed included but weren’t limited to: extra parking, a Toys’R’Us, a Cracker Barrel or In-N-Out, a Sports Authority and a giant statue,” President Marshall said.
Later in the meeting, President Marshall revealed that he and the Board of Directors had put all of the suggestions into a March Madness style bracket, and done coin tosses to settle each decision.
The final bracket came down to undercarriage LED lights for the perimeter of each building and a brand new student run newspaper.
“Seriously? Another newspaper?” Undeclared sophomore Anderson Press said. “Why do we need another one when I already don’t read the one that’s here? What’s that one called? The Cripe? The Crepe? What this school needs is parking, not more news. If I wanted to come to school and read a newspaper, I’d just scroll through Facebook or Instagram.”
Though a lot of the negative reactions to the new paper on campus stemmed from a frustration and growing lack of parking on campus, not everyone felt the same way.
“I’m excited,” said super senior Stu Dent. “I think I used to read The Critter-In back when I first started school here, but I think they’ve gotten a bit full of themselves. A little healthy competition could take them right back to how good they used to be. This is going to be a really great opportunity for them. I only wish that I could come back for my eighth year to see it.”
The second paper will be taking up residence in Escalante Hall, where recent renovations have opened up space on the second floor.
Nothing has officially been announced by the university concerning the name of this mysterious and totally unnecessary new news outlet on campus but unofficial polls on CMU’s Buzzfeed account have listed the top five (respectively) favorites as: New Crite, We Pay Better Than Those Guys, CMU Dependent, CMU Daily and Mesa Buzz.
Input for the name is still being considered. Ideas can either be sent to the CMU Buzzfeed account or to Student Life via messenger pigeon or fax.
Starting in the fall of next year, students will have more news sources on campus than ever. Be on the lookout for updates about the name, meeting time and hiring for editor positions at the future second student newspaper at CMU.
