Janitors are super pissed about the paintball tournament.

“Honestly, these students don’t respect us and they never will. Do they think about how many extra hours janitors have to put in after a paintball tournament? No. Why would they ever do it inside? I quit,” an anonymous janitor said. 

Rumors have been spreading that custodial workers at Colorado Mesa University (CMU) have been planning a revolution. The creators of the paintball tournament have been attempting to infiltrate the custodial staff with a spy, but it has not gone well due to the fact that it is being advertised on posters around campus. 

“Honestly, we didn’t think the janitors would see the posters. Kind of a fail on my part,” Abby, a design student said. 

With rumors circulating about both sides of this fight, CMU may see the end of an era.

“The campus may be destroyed, but this is a sacrifice we are willing to make to win this war,” leader of the rebel custodians said.