In response to student concerns about parking on campus, President John Marshall proudly announced on Monday that CMU will be eliminating all parking lots from campus.
This decision comes after months of discussion between Marshall and the CMU Board of Trustees.
Ultimately, the project to remove these parking spaces was fueled by a strong desire to act in students’ best interests.
“It doesn’t feel good to build more parking lots, you know?” said Marshall. “So we made the decision to ultimately utilize those areas for more productive spaces for our students.”
To meet the demands of a rapidly growing student body, he elaborated, the space currently taken up by these lots would be repurposed for more on-campus housing as well as new academic buildings.
“Making extra room for campus expansions will be an endeavor that, hopefully, will bring in more new freshman,” said Marshall.
Among these new academic facilities, notably, comes the addition of a fully-sized cruise ship, the S.S. Mavily, offering students in the hospitality management and culinary sciences programs to practice their skills in a new setting.
Supporters of this decision described parking lots as an eyesore.
“They’re really ugly, and have only been an inconvenience to both studetns and faculty. We want to maintain a visually attractive campus to draw in more students,” explained CMU Trustee Conn Kreate.
Some students were excited by the prospect of the erection of more dorms.
“I really wish I could have stayed on campus longer for the convenience,” said senior construction management student Nidmor Hawsing. “It’s unfair that I kind of got pushed out so more freshmen could live on campus.”
Skeptics have cited Marshall’s driving habits as a potential reason for the elimination of parking lots.
“I’ve seen some videos of the president driving, and it doesn’t seem like he wears his seatbelt,” said junior outdoor recreation student Otto Mobeel. “Maybe he doesn’t want students to drive their cars to campus because he has like, a moral obligation against seatbelts. Restraining the people and all that.”
Others were upset at the idea of not having a place to park.
“I drive from Delta every day to come to class,” said sophomore Spanish student Drai Ver. “Maybe I can just sleep on campus during the week and hike back on weekends? I hear the couches in the library are pretty comfy.”
Marshall made sure to take the time to address commuter concerns.
“If you live off campus and are worried about how you’ll get to class, maybe just walk or bike?” he suggested. “You could invest in an electric scooter if you’re really worried about the extra travel time.”
It should be noted that the University Center Parking Garage will remain standing to allow visitors a place to park during conferences and events.
This decision was made without a second thought, as events that are open to the public often fill up quickly with community visitors.
“We didn’t want the local community to be excluded from events due to limited parking availability,” said Kreate. “It’s vital that accommodations are made to show that CMU faculty cares for the community it serves.”
No enrolled students will be granted entry due to the prior concerns that brought about these changes.
“It would be pointless to allow students entry into the campus parking lots with all the issues they have caused,” said Marshall. It is unclear whether Marshall was referring to the parking lots or students.
Facial scanners will be installed at the entrance of the garage and cross referenced with the MavCard photo database to ensure students are not misusing the spaces.
