Imagine running late to class and as you speed walk your way past the other lectures, something catches your eye. It is a custodian, walking elegantly out of the first floor bathroom with a plunger and a mystic aura. You are stricken by his higher than life demeanor and devotion to his janitorial duty. 

This is a very common experience for both Colorado Mesa University (CMU) students and custodians. Custodians can often be seen with a fawning crowd of students behind them as they clean. 

“I really do not know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it,” Tolman Hall Custodian Scruffy said. “I am just doing my job, and I look back and see 10, 20, maybe even 50 students gawking and praising me. One time I even saw [CMU President] John Marshall bowing before my mop bucket.”

Students and faculty alike just cannot contain their admiration for the man behind the mop! 

In fact, the school is hosting a “Janitorial Jam” where a collection of students’ favorite custodians will perform their most daring tasks such as taking out the trash and vacuuming carpet. 

“I think this can really put CMU on the map. There are not any major custodian concerts in this part of the state, or really any part for that matter. Nonetheless, we want everyone to know that CMU has the most jaw-dropping janitors anywhere around,” Marshall said. 

Some students even call to replace the jersey on Rowdy with a CMU Custodial shirt citing that it represents what it really means to be a Maverick.

Whether that comes to fruition or not, you can always come to CMU and watch the thrilling tasks your local, and oftentimes dreamy, custodian performs. 

“Can you please stop following me when I mop? You are leaving footprints,” one custodian asked when The Criterion asked for further comments.