Evan, my girlfriend wants me to get along better with her dad, who is an avid hunter. So she set me up to go hunting with him in a couple weeks. However, I’m a vegetarian, and I have some reservations about killing animals. How do I get out of this without disappointing my girlfriend and possibly losing whatever respect her dad could have for me?

Did they miss the memo at that awkward family dinner when you were like, “I can’t eat that, I’m a vegetarian?”

There is an obvious failure on your girlfriend’s part in setting you up to do something like this. She should know after dating you for however long that this isn’t something you’re going to enjoy. She should also know that forcing you to do it is no guarantee that her father is going to respect you any more than he already does, or doesn’t.

Her father obviously isn’t seeing how happy you make his daughter. And if meeting his recreation activity standards is the only way to make him respect you, then he is being pretty shallow.

This crappy situation is on your girlfriend. If she knows you at all, then she probably knows how uncomfortable this whole hunting thing would make you. Obviously she could care less about your comfort in this matter. She just cares about her dad liking you.

Your girlfriend shouldn’t be disappointed at all that you don’t want to go hunting with her dad because you’re a vegetarian. If she wants her parents to like you, she should tell them about all the redeeming qualities she sees in you, rather than making her parents find their own redeeming qualities in you.

Why doesn’t she set you up to do something that you actually enjoy with her father? This would probably be more effective in that you both can actually enjoy doing something together, instead of just doing something that he likes so he likes you.

If her father loses all respect for you because you don’t like hunting, then he’s probably not willing to take any of your other redeeming qualities into consideration.

Just be a good boyfriend and treat his daughter the way she deserves. Make her happy. As long as you do that, any reservations he has about your character will probably fall by the wayside.

ealinko@mavs.coloradomesa.edu