Gaydar. It’s a common term that we throw around when trying to figure out if a person is homosexual. Usually my answer to gaydar is that there’s really no way to tell if a person is gay based off of mannerisms and actions. But ladies, there are a few ways to find out what team your potential love interest is playing for.

The main thing to remember is it’s all about the eyes. When talking to a guy in public, pay close attention to which people get his attention. I know every time I see a hot beefcake walk into a bar or social gathering, all women in the room disappear, and he has my direct attention. If he isn’t looking at you or other ladies in the room and has his eyes mostly on the guys, chances are he plays for my team.

Not every gay man is connected to gay culture, but another way to test your gaydar senses is by throwing around terms that most gay men would know. As gay men, we have our own language and terminology for specific things that align with the gay community. If he is familiar with words such as top, bottom, bear, twink, shade, kiki, friend of Dorothy, Mary, etc., then either he is a very well-rounded straight man or he is homosexual. If you have any questions about the words listed above, Urban Dictionary is a great resource.

Another way to tell if a guy is gay is by getting a little political. If he has a pretty big opinion on the Defense of Marriage Act or Prop. 8, it could mean that he is gay, but there are also many straight allies that are proponents of gay rights these days, so this approach is slightly flawed. This is more of a hint that could help you when trying to figure out a guy’s sexual orientation and in should no way be a sure-fire way of telling if he is gay.

The only way to truly tell if a guy is gay is by asking him. If you are very straightforward and decide to use this approach, please be polite about it, because it could catch a guy off guard. After all, some people may not be out of the closet and comfortable with revealing something so personal. Overall, gaydar is not 100 percent effective, but hopefully I have given you some tools to avoid the awkward interaction of hitting on a guy that doesn’t play for your team.

dhaynie@mavs.coloradomesa.edu