Sports Reporter
America’s economic problems are really hurting the rest of the country, just like Peyton Manning’s giant forehead ruins the rest of his face. It’s ugly, but there is a way to fix it.
While we can’t just cover America’s five-head with an extra large beanie (sorry, Peyton), we can do something else.
Inspired by one of my idols, Rick Reilly, I put my own spin on a solution to our economic woes: incorporating sports into everyday offices. I don’t mean actually playing sports while on the job. That would just send us farther in debt. All the weird nuances and celebratory behaviors that make sports fun can kick-start the workforce.
Sports teach us to keep grinding no matter how bad things get because the bad times will eventually turn around. Trust me, I’m a Cubs fan.
Just imagine walking into work and being greeted by a series of chest bumps. Instead of another good-morning-everybody-god-I-hope-today-doesn’t-suck greeting, you see Janice from accounting in an elaborate handshake and everyone is slapping the “Work Like a Champion” sign as they enter the office.
How about a cheerleading squad to keep the energy levels up?
“One, two, three, four!
Keep on workin’ do some more,
You got it! Yeah, yeah, you got it!”
Reviving the economy starts with reviving the work force.
The office needs things to keep everyone interested and having fun. Frustration is a part of an every-day work life, so have a room where people can go and throw chairs and water-coolers around just to get it out of their system.
We could retire numbers. Why not honor those who’ve done great things for a business? “John has the most sales in the history of the company. When he retires, no one will ever use extension 2794 again.”
Let’s take it back to peewee soccer. I remember running through a human tunnel with everyone screaming. Mid-day juice boxes and a rotating snack schedule. Anything to make work fun.
We can save the economy, people. Put on your rally caps, and don’t wash your lucky underwear for a week. Spray each other with champagne after a successful campaign. End the day with a dog pile or a loud chant.
We have the ability to turn this economy around. We just need a little extra fun and motivation.
With that, I say, “Work like a champion today.”
scschroc@mavs.coloradomesa.edu
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