Welcome to dorm life, bro.

You all just got torn out of your routine home lives and dropped in this cesspool of “academic life.” Some of us are pretty confident and socially proactive, and it isn’t hard to make friends.

For a while, that guy sharing the room with you is sort of the natural one to rely on. However, we make friends outside that cramped social circle of cohabitation. It’s the difference between hanging out with someone because of how close they happen to live to you and hanging out with them because you enjoy who they are and the way they stimulate your relationship.

Homedog is a victim of under-stimulation, and that’s why he’s attached himself as the proverbial Remora did to the bottom of the boat, slowing it down, making it awkward and hard to pick up cargo (i.e. booty).

There are two options you can take.

The first route is the indirect one. You’ve spent enough time around roomie by now to know something about his personality. If you don’t want him hanging around longer, just start doing stuff that makes him uncomfortable. Don’t do anything illegal or super mean, but there’s obviously a reason you and your friends don’t want him hanging around in the first place. If you just amplify the differences you have already, this guy will find someone else to follow around.

Second, there’s the direct route. Just sit your roomie down and have a talk with him. Tell him that while you think it’s important to get along with him because you live together, living together doesn’t make you best bros off the bat. Tell him that you’ve established a circle with a group of friends, and in the nicest way possible, tell him that the fact that the two of you live together doesn’t automatically make him part of that circle.

This will kind of suck. It’s not the most pleasant thing for him to hear, but it will make your feelings about his incessant-being-around better known.

The decision you have to make is which is more awkward in the long run. Remember, you have to live with this guy. Would you rather live with someone who thinks you’re an embodiment of something he finds unsavory or offensive, or someone who thinks you’re too cool for them?

I advise the direct route. Honesty is usually the best medicine. It’s not like you hate this guy, you just find him sort of clingy and annoying. Encourage him to be proactive and find friends for himself like you did, to start his own social life, rather than attaching himself to yours.

Make a decision that is beneficial for the social flow between you and your circle of friends. Keep this guy’s feelings in mind though. It’s obvious he lacks that engaging self-esteem. Be careful not to crush the tiny amount he’s found with you.