Audience members of this year’s “Spring Into Dance” concert left Robinson Theatre disturbed Saturday night after watching several dancers suffer grotesque injuries.

“At first, I wasn’t sure if the injuries were just the dancers expressing themselves in modern, interpretive dance,” CMU alum Colter Harkins said. “But then, the injuries kept piling up. I kept counting the injuries – five, six, seven, eight… I could barely watch.”

Fourteen dancers suffered injuries in the show. Some injuries were minor, such as dizziness from constant turning or bruised hips from intense twerking during the Harlem Shake. Other injuries were more severe, such as the dislocated ankles and bruised toes suffered by Rachel Krueger in a modern ballet number titled “Docile Bodies.”

“She was dancing very well, at first,” Harkins said. “Then, she jumped in the air and accidentally landed right on her toes. I can’t imagine the pain she must have felt on that stage.”

Senior Sage Buchalter fractured her hip while shaking her groove thing in the final number, leaving the audience quite shaken. Her injury gave a new meaning to the universal dance term “break it down.”

“Damn, she can work it,” sophomore Joey Dupre said. “That’s gotta hurt, though.”

Guest artist Justin Keats, a professional who traveled from New York City to perform in the show, had the most severe injury of the night – ripped abs.

“It’s like someone tore all the body fat off his midsection,” Dupre said. “My girlfriend was so disgusted, she couldn’t look away.”

Dancers refused to comment on the event but were seen gathered in the dance studio staring at themselves in mirrors, eating Taco Bell, taking asprin and complaining loudly about muscle soreness.

*Some Bull is a satire piece. All stories and quotes are not real.

dlmeyer@mavs.coloradomesa.edu