Managing Editor, Opinions Editor
Levi:
One day, I introduced my mom to a special someone.
“Nice to meet you,” my mom said. “I thought you’d be shorter.”
Thanks, Mom.
Meeting the parents of your girlfriend isn’t easy – not even for the parents. Dads talk about their gun collections, moms ask uncomfortable questions and the new boyfriend feels judged and interrogated. It seems a bit unfair, at first.
“I’m a kind-hearted, responsible young man , and I refuse to be judged this way,” you think to yourself. “I’ll tell her dad where to put his shotgun.”
But before you lose your mind (and your girlfriend) by standing up for yourself against the parentals, look at the situation from their perspective.
Suddenly, you’re a hairy, fat, 40-year-old with a wife and two kids. You enjoy an occasional microbrew, and you love to be enlightened by the History Channel. One day, your 18-year-old daughter comes home with her new boyfriend. He’s got a gnarly mustache, a loud muscle car and a lot of tattoos. You greet him as he walks in, and he responds with an eloquent “sup.” He tells you how your daughter is a “babe” and that your suburban Wisconsin home is “totally f***ing rad.”
At this moment, even if you don’t have a gun collection, you’re going to lie and say you do. Damn, you’ve got some large, lethal weapons. Maybe you’ve killed a man before and done some time in the slammer.
No matter the case, you’re going to protect your kid.
Parents are responsible for the well-being of their children. Girls get insulted, absued and raped every day, and it scares the daylights out of parents. They want to make sure that their kids are in the safest, happiest dating situation possible.
If I saw my daughter being disrespected by a mustachioed jackwagon, I’d put that jackwagon’s face in the dirt.
So, next time you “meet the parents” and get to hear about the gun collection, smile and nod politely. Use your manners, be respectful and enjoy the company. They might say some ridiculous things, but they’re just trying to protect their kids.
Thanks, Mom.
—
Alyssa:
As someone who is very close to my own family, I place a lot of significance on meeting my boyfriend’s parents and on him meeting mine. It’s important to me that my parents approve of my boyfriend.
I wasn’t always this way. In high school, I was a bit rebellious, and truthfully, my parents’ approval would have been more likely to turn me off to the relationship than anything else. However, after much heartbreak that was long beforehand predicted by my parents, I decided it may be wise to start listening to their initial advice.
My parents know me better than anyone else in the world does. They understand my thought process, beliefs and emotions, probably because they are the two individuals who molded me into the young adult that I am today. I often find that when I’m emotionally conflicted, I lose sight of myself and the true simplicity of the situation. During times like this, my parents can usually provide a few words of wisdom and clarity that remind me to make the right decision.
In the same sense, it is equally as important to me that my boyfriends’ parents approve of me. These are the individuals who guided him into being the man he is today. I appreciate his morals and beliefs, and it’s very likely that his parents are the ones who instilled those characteristics within him. So, when it comes time for me to meet the in-laws, I take the meeting very seriously.
My advice for this situation: go out of your way to get to know your significant other’s parents. Show them that you are interested in getting to know them, too. Be understanding if they seem a bit skeptical at first. They are protective of their child just like your parents would be over you. And lastly, if you get an opportunity, tell them how you feel about their son/daughter. Let them know that you care about their child, that you have no intentions of hurting them. This genuine honesty goes a long way when trying to earn approval and trust.
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