Opinion Columnist
Alyssa Chambers
I’d love to tell you that the best place to seek relationship advice is right here, in your weekly double-team column, but I’ll refrain in order to avoid looking biased. Honestly, I believe good advice comes from people who know you better than you know yourself: your parents, siblings or a lifelong friend. Sometimes, our judgment gets so clouded that we can’t recognize our own emotions, and all we need are a few enlightening words from the people we know, love and trust to provide clarity. This seems pretty obvious to me. Yet, I watch countless young females do the exact opposite when they run into relationship dilemmas.
The absolute worst thing a girl can do when in search for relationship advice is go to her friends. Sadly, this is usually the very first thing she does as well. When girls get into a group, they become empowered, insensitive and over-opinionated. In a group setting they want to gossip and laugh when you bring up lofty issues. Instead of logically responding to the issue, they jump to be the first to give their opinion. Girls thrive on overanalyzing things and gossip. Your relationship problem is no longer a sensitive and emotional subject. Instead, it’s merely the current topic of girl-talk. Girls do this without even realizing it. By bringing your personal issues to a group of gossip-hungry lionesses, you’re only furthering your own confusion, and it’s unlikely that you’ll gain any clarity or substantial guidance.
Not to mention, the key to good advice is that it opens your eyes to something you were previously unable to see. When you bring your problems to a group of females, all close to you in age and with most of the same experiences and knowledge, you’re not gaining any insight. They have little to nothing new to offer you. They’re most likely going to completely take your side in whatever issue is at hand, and they’ll drop the supportive friend cliché, “You deserve so much better.” As heartfelt as that may be, seeking advice from someone who has no further knowledge or experience than you have seems fruitless.
I’m a firm believer in keeping my personal life personal. I try not to air out my dirty laundry to anyone who will listen. When I’m really struggling, I’m selective about whom I seek advice from because I figure if the topic is important enough for me to turn to someone else for help, then I should handle the subject with care and respect instead of like a bit of gossip.
Levi Meyer
Like father, like son.
As a kid, my dad and I had a lot in common. We cracked corny jokes, had giant noggins and enjoyed the outdoors. I could talk to him about anything, and he seemed to understand.
But some things just don’t make sense.
When I was 12, my dad passed away. It’s been one hell of a hurdle to get over.
As I’ve grown older, there are questions I would love to ask him about the world. How do I talk my way out of (yet another) speeding ticket? How did you make such incredible homemade pizzas? Damn, those pies were delicious.
Most importantly, I’d ask him how he found a woman like my mom.
Their love story wasn’t always easy, but it was full of laughs and surprises. It was sturdy, unconditional and powerful. I’d love to ask him what he learned from it all.
Unfortunately, my questions won’t be answered. There are many father-son conversations about life and love that I will never have.
Hundreds of people on campus feel the same pain. There are questions, especially for a son, that can only be answered by a father. My mom taught me a lot about women, but she will never be able to relate to my questions like my dad would.
It’s a guy thing.
If you have a great parent of the same sex, ask for advice. Some issues may be uncomfortable to talk about at first. Puberty trains you to not talk to your parents about personal issues such as love in fear that “they won’t get it.”
But parents have experienced many of the same love problems as you have. They’ve been in the same situations and made the same mistakes – and they know you better than anyone. They give the best advice because they understand you and love you.
If you don’t have that figure in your life, it’s time to find one. Nobody can make it through the wild world of love alone. It’s important to talk about your feelings and learn new perspectives. I’ve made a lot of mistakes with women, but I’ve avoided mistakes as well because of the wisdom passed down to me.
Great happiness comes from learning from others, especially from parents. Although my dad isn’t around to answer my questions, he’ll be glad that I’m trying to find the answers.
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