Opinion Columnist
Dear Levi,
I love my boyfriend. But he’s super religious and I’m an Agnostic. At first it wasn’t a problem, but once we started arguing about it, we couldn’t stop. How can we work through this?
Sincerely,
Not Sure About God
Dear Not Sure,
Religion is important. People kill each other over it.
In fact, people have dropped bombs and burned each other alive for centuries over it. So it’s normal to have this sort of argument in your relationship.
Unfortunately, this argument will never end.
There are certain arguments that are solved easily in relationships. You’re going to forgive him for spending too much time in front of the tube, and he’s going to forgive you for hating his female friends. Certain problems aren’t worth the fight.
However, religion is more deep-seated than trivial relationship drama.
Religion is the root of basic morals for those who practice it. Your boyfriend might give up his man-freedom for you, but he’s never going to give up his relgion. It defines him, and he wouldn’t be the man you know and love without it.
You have chosen a man with very different beliefs than yours, and now you are stuck with the consequences. You can either argue about it endlessly or agree to disagree. For the sake of your relationship, I would choose the latter.
Ultimately, the fate of your relationship depends on how important religion is (or isn’t) in your lives. If it isn’t important, then it should be easy to focus on the aspects of your man that you love most. If it is important, then it might be best to find a man with less polarizing beliefs.
You just have to pray (or not) that it works out. You’ve entered a critical point in your relationship. Religion will always be important – just don’t kill each other over it.
Dear Alyssa,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years and I’m very happy with him but I recently developed a crush on a guy in my class. Should I feel guilty about it?
Sincerely,
Wandering Eyes
Dear Wandering Eyes,
It’s often easy to forget how animalistic and raw human attraction really is. Our physical instinct tells us whom we find attractive and desirable before we’ve even had enough time to comprehend their name. This attraction is usually a chemical reaction, derived from a person’s external attributes: body, smile or initial presentation. If this is all you’re experiencing, then no, I don’t believe you should feel guilty. It’s a natural and completely harmless reaction. However, if you begin imagining yourself with this other person, lying to them about your relationship or developing an emotional connection with them, then that’s an entirely different scenario.
A crush is harmless, but when you begin to act on it, it’s no longer innocent. It then becomes a selfish and careless act. That is what you should feel guilty about. The second you develop feelings for this crush, it could be a red flag in your own relationship.
You may no longer be satisfied in your partner, and I would advise that you take a serious look at yourself and the relationship you’re in before toying with anyone else’s emotions.
It’s always nice to get a little flattery from someone new, but if you’re not content enough with yourself or with your relationship to see it as nothing more than flattery, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship at all.
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