Levi Meyer
Carlos was a bitter, angry fourth grader.
“Girls suck, homie,” he said. “They break my heart, but I keep chasing them.”
Carlos recently cut ties with Tina, the sweet-and-spicy starlet of the fifth grade. It was a somber, inevitable breakup – their three-week relationship had been turbulent since week two.
One day, Tina publicly reamed Carlos in front of all his peers underneath the jungle gym.
“You never talk to me on the playground,” she screeched. “And you’re an a-hole who doesn’t give me enough attention. And you stink. And you have a booger.”
Carlos was stunned. He retreated to the swingset, sitting motionless in the saddle.
“This hurts more than a rug burn,” he said. “But I have to stay away from Tina. She’s a dweeb. I can do better.”
Breakups and fallouts hurt, even for fourth graders. But there’s no reason to waste time chasing after “dweebs” who don’t deserve the attention.
In times of uncertainty and pain, the best remedy is self-improvement. Take a little “me” time for relaxation and recovery, then hit the gym to blow off some steam. Focus on hobbies and passions. Let the creative juices flow. Eat some good pizza, and drink some good beer (responsibly, of course).
After your eleventeenth beer and umpteenth slice of pie, you’re going to remember how smart, interesting and talented you really are. You probably forgot while you were chasing the wrong women, but it’s all coming back to you now – and the pain and bitterness that you feel is fuel for your self-confident, independent fire.
Then, you’re going to meet some attractive women. They will smell nice and have intelligent things to say. You will flirt with them, and they will laugh at your jokes.
Soon, you’ll realize that you’ve completely outdone yourself. You’re single, inspired, tipsy, outgoing, and hilarious around females. You haven’t had this much fun since the last time your were single.
It’s because you’re physically and spiritually nurturing yourself. By realizing that you deserve the best, you are demanding and receiving the best.
Boy, isn’t “the best” the best?
Two days later, I found Carlos in the art room. His painting of a tiger holding a Mexican flag captivated third and fourth-grade girls alike. Even Ana, the sweet-and-spicy starlet of fourth grade, was impressed.
“You’re so cool, Carlos,” she said. “You should play tag with us at recess.”
Carlos rolled his eyes and smirked.
“I will,” he said. “I love chasing girls.”
Alyssa Chambers
Breakups are never easy. While your family will advise you to keep busy and move on with your life, and your friends tell you to get over him by getting under someone else, I’d argue that it’s the day-to-day things that are key to surviving a breakup.
The worst parts of a breakup are the times when you’re alone and missing your ex. It’s the times when you would normally be in the company of your ex: watching a movie, laying in bed or just relaxing around the house. If you choose to sulk in your loneliness, then yes, your breakup will be long, emotional and exhausting. When you find yourself in this situation, feeling alone, get up and move. Keep busy.
So many people mope in self-pity when a relationship ends, which is understandable: a breakup can leave a person feeling insecure, unwanted and lost. But it’s important to realize that we create these feelings ourselves, and therefore, we can also put an end to them ourselves. A breakup is not the end of the world, so take care of yourself. Don’t resort to classic breakup food: chocolate, ice cream and whiskey.
Eat healthy and go to the gym when you’re feeling low. If you eat healthy and exercise right, you’ll feel better on the inside, which will further compel you to look good on the outside too.
I truly believe in the saying “look good feel good,” so spend a little extra time getting ready in the morning. When you feel confident in yourself and your appearance, very few things can bring you down.
I’m also a firm believer in the saying “fake it ‘till you feel it.” So if you’re still having a rough time getting on with your life, try to stay positive. Even if you don’t feel remotely optimistic, the more positive vibes you put out in the world, the more they’ll come back to you. Fake happy until you start to feel happy.
It’s so common that we, as humans, feel like victims of life. We believe that breakups simply happen to us. As insensitive as it may sound, you brought that breakup upon yourself one way or another. Either you initiated the split, or your partner did because you were no longer happy or compatible.
I encourage you to take control of your life. Yes, you’re going through a breakup, but you have complete control over how you handle it and carry yourself through it. Don’t be a victim of a breakup. Have class and carry yourself through it by making yourself your main priority.
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