Dear Alyssa, How does a man get out of the infamous friend zone?
Sincerely, Stuck
Dear Stuck,
There are two ways to be in the friend zone and, unfortunately, only one way to get out.
You may be the friend whom girls don’t want to date because you’re too nice, which normally would be a good thing.
But in the world of women, nice isn’t sexy. It’s weak. Girls feel like they can walk all over you and take advantage of you. They enjoy getting attention from you, but once a guy of interest comes along, you’re pushed to the back burner.
Or you could simply be in the friend zone because the girl doesn’t realize you want anything more than that. A lot of guys make this mistake when they’re trying not to come on too strong. In turn, they come off as uninterested. If a guy doesn’t seem obviously interested in a particular female, she files him away in her internal filing cabinet under the “friends” tab.
Regardless of what “friend” you are, the only way to get out of the friend zone is to stop doing what you’ve been doing.
You need to re-enter her life in a different manner than you did before. If you’ve been sweet and she’s taken advantage of it, time to grow a backbone and stand up for yourself. Stop putting more into your relationship or friendship than she is.
If she simply doesn’t know how you really feel, go out on a limb and tell her. A human flaw that we all experience at one point or anther is that we tend to overanalyze things.
Stop analyzing and get yourself out of the friend zone.
Dear Levi,
Do you believe that Zodiac signs play a part in romantic compatibility? (I’m a Cancer by the way).
Sincerely,
Starstruck
Dear Starstruck,
Don’t even get me started on Cancers. They can be a little crabby.
I certainly believe in all things astrological due to my distinct dating history. Out of the reasonably-sized, finger-countable group of girls that I have been attracted to in my life, all but one were Cancers.
Even before I knew anything about astrology, I enjoyed Cancers. And boy, have I drooled over them. It’s not just a coincidence—all of these girls had ethereal qualities that I was attracted to. And even though some of them turned out of be nutjobs, I still seemed to fawn over them. Either I’m stupid or under the influence of the Zodiac. I hope it’s the latter. Science doesn’t support the Zodiac, but science doesn’t support love either. I’m a firm believer the stars will lead everyone to cosmic connections.
However, there is no better connection than sharing practical interests. The Zodiac can provide a lot of insight on vibing with the opposite sex, but it has a lesser effect on building strong bonds with them. You must have trust, support and love to create a strong relationship. Compromises must be made, and bad habits must be given up. It’s the basis for a healthy relationship. And Zodiac signs be damned – nothing beats a girl who enjoys Mexican food and my terrible jokes.
Next time you’re out meeting men, feel free to ask, “What’s your sign?” It’s a classic pick-up line, and it provides a lot of information about potential mates. But don’t get too starstruck, Starstruck. The stars don’t determine who you are attracted to ultimately — you do.
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