I hear my doorbell ring and glance at the clock. You are right on time, and you even came to the door instead of honking from the driveway or calling from your car. You’re 2-0 on our first date. I open the door, and you look well put-together and seem excited. You compliment me once or twice. Things are looking very promising for you. You open the car door for me, and I swear I’m starting to melt, but then, as you slide into the driver’s seat, you mutter the forbidden phrase: “Where do you want to go?” The buzzer blares, and I’m no longer impressed by all of your chivalry leading up to this point on our date. I’m now thinking, “I took an hour and a half to get ready.  I’m wearing my Victoria Secret Bombshell, my most seductive perfume, and my eye-shadow even matches my dress, but you couldn’t assume your role as a man and take the lead by deciding on a restaurant?”

While tutoring Latino children at my work, a fourth-grade boy turned to a fourth-grade girl with a smile.

“I like you,” he said. “You should kiss me, por favor.”

“Maybe I will,” she said. “Come closer.”

The boy leaned toward the girl, eyes closed and lips pursed. In a matter of moments, he would be kissing the coolest girl in the fourth grade.

Then, she smiled, leaned in and flicked him right on the nose.

“Fooled you,” she said. “That was too easy.”

The boy was confused and shocked by what had just occurred, so I tried to ease his mind. First, I told him that there are plenty of other fourth-grade fish in the sea. I also told him that he’s a little too young to be worrying about girls. But before I could step off of my soapbox, he interrupted me.

“P-P-Por que?” he said. “Why did she do that to me?”

It’s nearly impossible to explain why women tease men. There’s something so cruel about promising a gift and then taking it away. Even fourth graders see the injustice.

But for some reason, women think it’s fun. If she has the power to give it, she can also take it away, which gives her a great sense of control. It must be exhilarating to give men false hope.

However, women also have sincere reasons to tease. If a charming stranger is hitting on a girl, she will have mixed feelings about the situation. She doesn’t want to fall for him if he’s a tool, but she doesn’t want to scare him off if he’s a keeper. By being a tease, she puts him in a state of limbo until she figures out his intentions. Although it’s frustrating for the man involved, it’s a natural, quasi-respectful way for a woman to make a smart decision. You can’t blame someone for trying to make a smart decision.

Ultimately, women must keep their impulse to tease under control. Too much teasing means a girl likes to play games, and men hate when women play games (i.e. the WNBA). But guys must realize that teasing is a natural impulse. Mutual understanding of teasing leads to mutual happiness.

Just ask the bewildered fourth-grade boy. As I was about to leave work, he stopped me in the hallway.

“She’s just playing with my head. She’ll kiss me soon. Bet you five bucks she will.”