Alyssa Chambers
aachambers@mavs.coloradomesa.edu

One dating mistake I made very early on in my relationship was expecting far too much from my boyfriend. Having high expectations and standards is rarely a negative quality to possess. But in the case of a serious and functional relationship, it can often lead to a great deal of disappointment and disagreement.
I’m the epitome of a hopeless romantic. I’m a sucker for flowers, teddy bears and anything cuddly. In fact, as I write this column, I’m listening to R&B Radio on Pandora, and the Boys II Men are down “On Bended Knee,” declaring their love to me. So, naturally, when I began dating my boyfriend, I assumed he would provide the love-story romanticism that would transform my life into a Nicholas Sparks novel. Well, he didn’t. In fact, I discovered he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.
At first, I was frustrated, even a little hurt by his lack of romance. Then, I realized the problem wasn’t with my boyfriend. No man could meet the expectations I had constructed in my mind since I first watched “The Notebook.” I was expecting my boyfriend to be romantic, but I was defining romance by women’s terms. I was completely setting him up to fail and, in turn, setting myself up for disappointment.
Studies show that men in our society are taught not to let emotion reflect too greatly into their actions and behavior: “There’s no crying in baseball.” Romance for men is practical and thoughtful. Grabbing you a coffee before work, making sure you have a towel waiting outside of the shower or making a point to kiss you goodbye every day is men’s big display of affection. There are no bells and whistles, just genuine thought and sincerity.
After looking at things from this perspective, it seems women’s definition of romance is more to prove to everyone around us that we are loved. Whereas men focus solely on proving it to the one that matters most, you.

Levi Meyer
dlmeyer@mavs.coloradomesa.edu
I have a way with women.
I chase the same girls, fall for the same tricks and lament in the same drunken state when the relationship ends. I’d love to talk about how I’ve learned from my mistakes, but history has proven that I haven’t.
In turn, my optimistic view on relationships has been skewed. Since I’ve made the same mistakes, I enter new relationships expecting the same results. It’s something that makes me more apprehensive than the average bachelor.
However, it’s a debilitating way to look at relationships. Although history may be tragic, there’s no guarantee it will repeat itself.
I’ve set myself up for failure by letting the past take precedence over the present. As a result, I’ve spent many nights sulking on my couch with my face planted firmly in my palm.
When my brother ends a relationship, he takes a night to deal with the pain of the breakup, and then leaves his bitter feelings at the bottom of a garbage can full of empty beer bottles. The next morning, he’s on to the next girl.
To break the chain of destruction, it’s crucial to have a short memory. Failed relationships fail for a reason. Learn from them, then forget about them. If a new girl enters the picture, treat her like the first girl you’ve ever had the pleasure of dating. If she ends up being bad news, take a moment to reflect and move on.
Every new relationship is exactly that – new. It’s a fresh start with potential to be special. It doesn’t matter if past relationships ended poorly or if there appears to be a pattern in the making. If a new relationship is viewed in the same light as previous ones, it’s doomed to fail.
Regardless of how a relationship pans out, let it be a part of your past experiences rather than a factor in your present actions. It might change history.