Welcome to the postmodern age. Most of the human race lives in a society where they are defined by the way others see you.
Who are you? You work here, you own this car, you hang out with this group, you hook up with this person, but you’d date this one. Who and what you associate with can easily become who (or what) you are.
It’s very simple to forget that if you had no job, no possessions, no friends or associates, that a “you” still exists, especially in college. How much time does a full-time student with a side job, roommates, hobbies, love interests, homework, and phone calls home really have alone? Now with text messaging and Facebook, it’s pretty easy to never be alone.
I’ve found that finding alone time is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself mentally, physically and socially. One doesn’t have to quit their job or ditch class or their friends to do this. Alone time will present itself to you, no matter how busy your life is. However, you have to seize the opportunity.
Take a minute, go for a walk, shut your phone off. The constant dings of text messages, emails and Facebook notifications fill our days. Give those a break for a little while.
I’ve wanted to learn how to knit and crochet for a long time, but most of my friends aren’t interested in that sort of thing, and the ones that are never seem to be able to make plans to go. So the next chance I get, I’m going myself.
Do you always go to the bar with a giant pack of friends? Try going to a bar you’ve never been to before, alone. See who you meet or how you act. Look at what you drink or where you sit in the bar. Without the giant pack of friends, you may see yourself expressing yourself in ways you haven’t before. This doesn’t mean waking up in detox, as much of an experience that surely is.
Be spontaneous, go to dinner alone. You might get a weird look from other restaurant patrons, but have a pleasant dinner conversation with yourself in the middle of a crowded restaurant. See what you have to say when the usuals aren’t around to hear it. Do you always stay at your significant other’s house? Spend a night alone every once and a while. See where you go and what you do when no one is there to point or sway you.
Don’t become a hermit or cut yourself off from those who care about you. Find balance with your alone time and your time with others. Acknowledge what you see within yourself during your time alone and let it radiate when you are with others. A little time with yourself will help you show others, the world and the universe a lot about who you are.