Dear Anthony,
I was with a girl the other night and I wanted to be honest. I told her that I’m just looking to have fun and not wanting a relationship. She then got upset and left. What did I do wrong?
Sincerely, Quick

Dear Quick,
Everyone just wants to fall in love these days. It’s quite the shame. You have to have fun. Good, old fashioned, responsible fun. Leave the emotions out of it or else you’ll end up with someone you don’t really love. Plus, it’s my favorite way to relieve stress.

Dear Anthony,
I’m trying to make a playlist for when I’m having my special time with my lady. What tunes do you prefer for such event?
Sincerely, DJ Love

Dear DJ Love,
It all depends on exactly what kind of love you are making. If it’s a lovey-dovey night, I prefer the the old school Marvin Gaye and Luther Vandross. If you think about it, that was the music playing when we were made. If you’re looking for some furocious fun, you need a song with a deep bass. The deeper the bass, the more fun you’ll have.

Dear Anthony,
I really like this girl that lives next door. We always have a great time together and every time I’m with her I feel so happy. What can I do to make her mine?
Sincerely, Falling

Dear Falling,
You have to tend to her every need. You have to tell her you love her and call her beautiful every chance you get. Pour your heart out to her. Im just playing around. Just buy her something that looks expensive and she’s all yours.

Dear Anthony,
I’ve been talking to this girl online for a bit now and things might be getting serious. Is it safe for me to bring her out here and call her mine?
Sincerely, Cyber Love

Dear Cyber Love,
Let me guess. She told you that she’s five and a half feet tall with blonde hair and that every guy she has met has called her beautiful? Then she sent you a picture fitting that description, right? Don’t believe everything you are told. See that picture of me to the left? Are you certain that’s me? You are better off finding a girl the old fashioned way: creeping on her until you have the courage to talk to her.