Dear Anthony,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a month. He’s a great guy and I love being with him. Unfortunately, I feel differently about his dogs. I hate them. They always maul me or lick me until I go crazy. Should I just learn to deal with them or abandon the whole thing?
Sincerely, Spay or Neuter Your Pets

Dear Spay or Neuter Your Pets,
Don’t forget that a dog is a man’s best friend. No matter how great you are, he is always going to be excited about his pups. All you can do is accept the fact that he is going to love the both of you. What you should do is teach the dogs new tricks while he’s not around. Teach the dogs that you are the dominant one and only you can lick his face. After he notices that they don’t seem to like him as much as they use to, he will come crawling to you.

Dear Anthony,
Why do I struggle so much to pick up girsl? I feel like my pick up lines are great, but they don’t work. What lines should I be doing?
Sincerely, Dissed

Dear Dissed,
If you’re seriously asking me what pick up lines to use, you have a lot more problems than just picking up girls. Has anyone ever used a successful pick up line? My only advice to you is to grow some.

Dear Anthony,
I spend so much time on my hair. I try so hard to make it look nice every day. My boyfriend never notices it, however. Are guys just not able to spot a new hair-do?
Sincerely, Hair Obsessed

Dear Hair Obsessed,
Safe to assume that your hair doesn’t grow down to your chest? So why would you expect a guy to notice it? A girl’s hair just isn’t important to a guy. I’m sure that it looks lovely. As long as you don’t go bald, it’s safe to say you won’t ever get complimented.

Dear Anthony,
I love spending time in the bedroom with my boyfriend. I always get excited about our romance. The problem is that he always finishes before I do. Is there something wrong with him? Or better yet, is there something wrong with me?
Sincerely, Not Satisfied

Dear Not Satisfied,
As long as he’s satisfied, what’s the issue? Do you know how hard it is for a guy to be a decent boyfriend? Guys aren’t having sex for the romance. Sex to us is just a couple really good thrusts and a sandwich. If you want it to last longer, you have to tease him more. The more he has to work for it, the longer he’ll want to enjoy it.