This past week I journeyed in my mid-size SUV 16 hours to the small west-Texas town that molded me into much of the person I am today. I haven’t been there in over six months but nothing really has changed. People still worship football, pray for rain, tall tales are told, food is fried, and everyone knows everything about you. Greetings begin with “honey-child” and “darlin’” even if you have no idea who that person is. Life is slow there. Life is good there.
It was a trip I wish I hadn’t had to make. A family emergency had occurred and I left western Colorado in a rush. I suspect that I am not the only one out there that thinks going home is a bittersweet reality. I just happened to have three-quarters of a day to drive there. So over the Rockies, down into the not-so-enchanted state of New Mexico, and through Texas, I went.
I have so many great memories of home but one of my favorites is all the great sayings my family says. Especially in the most inappropriate of times.
It seems like there are no actual seasons in my hometown (besides dove and deer), but when the year finally passes along far enough to get a bit chilly it is the talk of the town. “Cold as a Witch’s tit” my 86 year-old grandma, “Nana”, claims when the thermometer hits below 70 degrees. I always smile when she says that so matter-of-factly. I can’t help but wonder which Hogwart’s character she’s been feeling up lately. It’s probably that ginger, sidekick Ron.
Or when my mom reminds me of the childhood saying, “First is the worse, second is the best,” I’m pretty sure if you asked the US Women’s soccer team or Justin Guarini they would tell you differently.
I can always count on my brother to call when it rained. “Holy cow, Claire, now that sure was a gully washer!” I literally have no idea what that means, but everyone will immediately stop what they are doing and go outside.
When someone clearly cannot get the job done my dad proclaims  “Well, he is just a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest”.
My personally favorite is “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Well, duh.
I suppose it doesn’t really matter if you’re from Texas or not. These sayings will probably and hopefully bring you laughter. But they are my comfort. They remind me during, possibly some of my darkest times, to make light of things. No matter how heavy the situation, maybe. I can always count on my Texan family to ease my worries…Even if it is only because I’m concentrating on figuring out what in the heck they mean.