Dear Anthony,
I thought the main component of a relationship is communication. Lately, my boyfriend has not been talking to me or listening to a single thing I have to say. What can I do to make him listen?
Sincerely, Ignored
Dear Ignored,
I don’t know if you have turned on a television in the past couple of weeks, but it’s football season. I hate to say it, but you will be on the back burner until February. Also, never, ever tell him it’s just a game. You will find yourself single very fast.
Dear Anthony,
My boyfriend feels that it is alright to fart around me now. It is so unattractive. How can I make him stop farting when I’m in the room?
Sincerely, Stinky Situation
Dear Stinky,
Why are you freaking out? This is a man’s way of telling you that you are in, you are his one and only. He is that comfortable around you. It’s a blessing in disguise, a smelly disguise. Your only obstacle is to deal with the smell. Just hold your breath for 30 seconds and you’ll be in the clear.
Dear Anthony,
Next week, my girlfriend wants to go to dinner with her parents. How can I get out of this without upsetting anyone?
Sincerely, Avoid the Fockers
Dear Byrnes,
Oh yes, the event that has haunted men since the beginning of time, dinner with the in-laws. This has always been a tricky ordeal. Faking a seizure seems like the way to go, but then her parents would just be at your side in the hospital. If you are serious with the girl, you will have to meet them eventually, so just make reservations. . . at a sports bar.
Dear Anthony,
Every time I am with a girl out in public or at a party, she always ruins it by pulling out her camera and demanding we take pictures. What’s up with the camera, man?
Sincerely, Bothered
Dear Bothered,
Apparently, the only way a woman can remember anything is if she has pictures. How they stretch their arms out that far to get themselves and whoever they are with is beyond me. If you have to be in the pictures, just stick your tongue out or flip the bird in each picture. They will eventually be too annoyed to let you in anymore pictures.
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