As a super (awesome) senior, I have learned a few things in my years while attending this school. To be honest, I wish I could have had a heads up on some of the life lessons college hurls at you.
Example. I am from the great state of Texas, where 60 degrees is dang-near freezing and people stop what they’re doing and look outside if there is a small puff of a cloud in the sky. This being said, I would have really appreciated someone explaining to me the whole ‘black ice’ issue that is popular in Colorado; falling and almost getting run over in front of numerous cars on the 12th street cross walk could have been avoided. Or realizing that if you take 21 shots on your 21st birthday, you will in fact, want to die for the next couple of days.
But as a mature and wise senior, I would like to be of assistance to you and your journey through your university life. Here are a few questions and situations I have gathered from students this past week.
“I don’t want to gain the Freshman 15 — help.”
I’m pretty sure we just built a $42 million Rec Center. I personally recommend a spin class. There’s also a pool if you want to squeeze into your high school bathing suit. In addition to exercising those buns, there is a great thing called the salad bar in the cafeteria that you might want to hit up. Oh, and don’t have a panic attack if you do gain some weight. Everyone has a lifestyle change when they enter college. Plus, I heard that curves are making a comeback.
“I have no friends.”
Really? That seems hard to believe. Join a club or take a trip with the Outdoor Program. Nothing says bonding like rafting down raging waters and camping in the wilderness. Or if you enjoy being a lone wolf, our very own campus radio station, KMSA, is always looking for new talented people who like to talk to themselves in a state-of-the-art DJ booth.
“Why is my long-distance boyfriend not responding to my texts and my phone calls as fast as he usually does?”
He can’t stand the fact that you are so far away. It makes him cringe to think about the distance between you. Or he already found a replacement. My money is on the hot blonde he is partners with in beginning fitness walking.
“I hate the dorms! And I’m pretty sure I have bed bugs. Can I sue CMU?”
Whoa there Drama! How about you start by washing your sheets in extra hot water? I know doing laundry might be a bit of a change for you, but I have faith that you can do it. You just have to believe.
“My professor hates me.”
Probably. But I’d hate you, too if you sat in front of me with glazed-over eyes and texted the entire time. Enjoy that grade you just earned.
“My roommate keeps me up all night! It’s so annoying.”
You do know you are in COLLEGE, right? You will have plenty of time to get a full eight hours of rest each night when you graduate and get a decent job, or when you move back in with your parents.
College is a time to learn and you will learn plenty through trial and error over the next 4-5ish years. So always remember to dance like no one is watching because chances are they aren’t. Unless you are on a table.

l
Cdoyle@mavs.coloradomesa.edu