Alyssa Chambers

“Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small and kindles the great.”

Until this summer, I would have read this quote and not thought much of it. If anything, I would have disagreed with it. I have always been completely opposed to long distance relationships. Until recently when I met someone who not only changed my attitude on long distance, but my entire outlook on life.

The first question to pose prior to committing to someone long distance: is it worth it? Will you be capable of dealing with the impending struggles and difficulties that convoy long distance relationships? And will the belief of positives overpowering the negatives be sufficient enough to keep you content? Also, as uncomfortable as it may be to talk about, it is good to set an objective for your relationship. Whether it’s that one, or even both, of you will ultimately relocate in order to be together, or perhaps something even more somber, it’s good to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and to have a common ambition to work toward and look forward to.

Once you’ve decided to invest yourself in a long distance relationship, two essential objects to sustain are; trust and self-security. Not knowing where your partner is or what he or she is doing at any and all times, can generate a lot of anxiety and insecurity in people. Trust your boyfriend or girlfriend entirely and have enough confidence in yourself to know that you’re adequate for them. If you’re relentlessly worrying that your special someone is going to fall into the arms of someone else at any moment, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. Not to mention, you’re going to come off as entirely insecure, paranoid, and unattractive. Be confident. Confidence is sexy! Trust your partner, even if it means letting your guard down.

Finally, now that you’ve invested yourself in the relationship and established a strong sense of trust, focus on the positives that distance brings! There’s an incredible sense of freedom that comes with a long distance relationship. Freedom to focus on yourself, school work, and friends. Why not take advantage of this separation and use it as an opportunity to develop and richen your own life in order to bring more to the relationship in the future? Another benefit that distance offers that a close physical relationship cannot, is it eliminates the opportunity of physicality therefore ruling out any and all superficial intentions. It forces you to appreciate your partner for their personality, morals, opinions, and sense of humor.  Also, without the option of physically being at each other’s disposal, you build a sense of anticipation and excitement.  And when you finally get to see your loved one that time is filled with incredible happiness and elation. Making your time together more like a vacation than a chore, as some relationships can become.

While long distance relationships are difficult, they are far from impossible. Personally, I think it comes down to one question. Whether face-to-face or over the phone, is hearing his voice and laugh before bed, enough to keep a smile on my face and hope in my heart? And for as long as I answer “yes” to that question, I’ll look forward to the next time I get to hear those things. Turns out the old saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” is completely true— as long as you give it to the right person.