The laws of attraction are set in in stone. You like what you like and there is really no denying that. That being said, I can’t help but turn my head when someone catches my eye, but this situation can be problematic. No, it’s not because my wandering eyes lead to a jealous significant other; it’s problematic because when I turn my head it’s to look at another guy. 

Don’t misunderstand, I am a-ok with my sexual orientation, but sometimes guys of the heterosexual persuasion don’t necessarily appreciate when I browse the merchandise. 

My question is: what’s the big deal? Just because I find you attractive doesn’t mean I’m going to pounce on you the first chance I get. I have a little more self-respect than that.  

I’ve heard, time and time again, that straight men try to explain that they don’t mind gay guys as long as they don’t get hit on. Personally, I never hit on a straight man I’m not already acquainted with and I have certainly never done so with any serious intent. The times I flirted with straight men are simply out of jest. 

I know I can make them uncomfortable and I think it’s funny. I usually follow with an apology or a “just kidding” type remark, but still I have to wonder and ask: what’s the big deal? 

A little harmless flirting builds character and, if anything, it should be seen as a compliment. I’m pretty picky, as are most gay men.  After all, we are notorious for having good taste. 

My advice is this: take the compliment and follow it up with a polite “thanks but no thanks.” That’s all that is really necessary. Most gay men won’t approach a guy they know can’t return the attraction, some of us can be pretty bold (to put it lightly), but we’re not so desperate that we sink so low we hit on someone who will probably reject us. 

Give us a little more credit and give yourself a little more credit too. If we hit on you, even in jest, its cause you are hot. Aside from being known for have exceptional taste, gay men are also known for being brutally honest and we don’t lie when it comes to how someone looks. 

Now, it would be different if a gay man continued to hit on a straight man after he’s been turned down, as it is in any similar situation between any mixture of sexes. At that point it would be acceptable to become defensive, but only at that point. 

You should be flattered if a gay gives you a side-glance, and seriously what do you expect. Don’t be so naïve to think that straight men don’t sneak glances at their co-eds. I would like a little gratitude for the work I do scoping out cute guys. 

I put a lot of effort seeking out guys that are nice to look at on a regular basis, such as planning specific walking routes and/or points of contact. Sometimes a little eye candy goes a long way, so don’t be so selfish.