Updated on 9/15/2020: Originally published with CMU students email in signature block, updated to provide name.
Every day I have an egg salad sandwich with a great deal of black pepper. While I eat in my business class, I tend to sneeze, and quite often at that. But when I sneeze and get dozens of dirty looks, I know that the liberal media has finally gone too far. The fact of the matter is that this virus is a “hoax”, manufactured purely by government forces. The “government” has been whittling down our rights as Americans for too long (aka since President “Clinton” was elected). I have to wonder: how much is too much? What’s next? No more bathroom usage? No more communal events? Does the city of Grand Junction not realize that CMU is the communal nucleus? (1) These are the questions that need to be asked, the questions that deserve to be asked. Wearing a mask is all fine and dandy, until, of course, the “government” tells us that we can no longer go outside, no longer have face-to-face interactions with anyone, even our significant others (you know what I mean). We need to tear down the institutions, destroy the leftist bias, and reclaim our throne! This “real” pandemic can be remedied by STOPPING the government, COLLABORATING with humanity, and LISTENING intently to what’s true and pure. Look outside, where students are practically choking on their masks, suffocating from loneliness. Back in my day (last year), you could embrace your fellow man with a hug or a handshake. “Boo=yah!” And now look at this. Look at us, what we’ve become and what we are continuing to become each day, with each passing moment. Intimacy has been lost. This community has been infiltrated and thus destroyed, no longer functioning as one. I suppose the biggest issue would be the chronology of “COVID-19”. What about covid-18, 17, 16, etc? Do you remember them? Yeah, me neither. The government will be announcing COVID-19-2 soon enough, mark my words. The day of reckoning is coming, what it will look like, no one knows. Students at CMU can wear their masks and run in the opposite direction of each other. They can give dirty looks to the kid in class that is sneezing from his pepper-laden egg salad sandwich all they want, but in the end, the “government” will “win”. Is this the future we want for our kids? Will there be a future for our kids? No one knows. I for one most certainly do not. I agree that people should be safe, but as a person who actually cares about the truth, I am skeptical, to say the least.
(1) Nucleus: the powerhouse of the cell that transports lipoproteins to the artery.
WOLVERINES!
**I hope that The Critterin or “whatever” will submit my work.
Yours truly,
CMU Business Student
Peter Juntunen
