The Criterion’s Editor-in-Chief snapped and went on a power trip in a strange and crazy turn of events earlier this week.
Nico Ortega, The Criterion’s Editor-in-Chief, decided he was more knowledgeable than the entire newspaper staff and decided to take on the whole publication by himself.
“I am so much smarter and better than the rest of my staff, I don’t need them,” Ortega said. “By time I’m done, [The Criterion] will be called ‘The Ortega.’”
The decision for Ortega came after the Opinions section of the staff had too many opinions. Shortly after, Ortega began firing everyone that worked for him.
“I had to start letting people go very quietly. If Student Life found out what I was doing they would definitely not be happy,” Ortega said. “Currently, I need to publish everything under everyone else’s name to make it look like the entire staff is still here, you know what I mean?”
At the moment I am… I mean Ortega is the only member on staff. Being the only member does have its upsides.
“Now there is no one to stop me or second guess whatever content I am publishing. Plus, I am collecting everyone else’s paychecks, so my hourly wage has increased 10-fold,” Ortega said.
Currently, Ortega says he plans to continue to finish out the rest of the semester on his own and let someone else decide what the future will hold for The Criterion.
