CMU to be renamed

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Just in time for the 10 year anniversary of gaining university status, Colorado Mesa University (CMU) has announced that it will be changing its name to Coca-Cola Mesa University.

The decision came following the college’s switch from Pepsi to Coke in 2019. The switch proved so financially successful CMU’s staff felt a tribute to the soft drink overlords was in order.

“It’s actually a pretty simple name change,” CMU President Tim Foster said, “It wouldn’t change the campus’ acronym and we already use a lot of red in our advertising.”

In response to this change, several students have begun to protest in the dorms, holding deep blue signs and shouting “Choke on Coke!

There is also one man protesting in favor of R.C. Cola but no one really cares about him.