Aries (Mar 21 to Apr. 19)

Your energy was made for St. Patrick’s Day. Search out a local pub where you can release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin.

Taurus (Apr. 20 to May 20)

Host a St. Patrick’s Day feast for your friends and loved ones. Don’t forget to toast for good luck, health and success.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Your heart wants to buy everyone a drink but your wallet is actively screaming. Watch your spending, or your pot of gold will be taken by the IRS.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

For the love of God, please wear green. The leprechaun will get your ass if you don’t.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)

Celebrate with a badass St. Patrick’s day treasure hunt. Hide clues throughout campus that lead to a hidden pot of chocolate coins. Or a wasp nest. Keep them on their toes.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sep. 22)

If you want to see a leprechaun, sniff as many green markers as you can. If you don’t see him by the third marker, it’s not your lucky day.

Libra (Sep. 23 to Oct. 22)

Coordinate the hottest all green outfit with four besties. Then tell everyone that Shrek is being rebranded as a St. Patrick’s Day movie and you’re part of the marketing team.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

If you’ve been wanting to change your hair color, St. Patrick’s is the time to do it. Make sure to pick the brightest green you can find.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

You’ll find a four-leaf clover by Wubben, but it’s actually just a sparkly green gum wrapper that someone threw on the ground. Damn litterers.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan 19):

You will have a great time, that is if you’re the type to define “great” as tripping while trying to get into the library because you refused to wear green.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18):

Learn cartography and map every single four leaf clover you find on campus. St. Patrick will bless you with a McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes for your service.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to Mar. 20):

Well, obviously you’re the leprechaun. Go bless or unbless people with your shenanigans.