Question: Is [it] legally wrong for professor to date students? How about ethically?
Dear Academic Amoré,
While it’s not technically illegal to date a professor as a student, it is frowned upon. If both parties are legal adults and consenting then it should technically be alright. However, this type of relationship is inherently imbalanced and could create too many problems for it to be worth it. The Student Code of Conduct does not have any explicit language regarding faculty-student relationships. There are some other colleges that do have an explicit policy prohibiting it. My advice is to trust your gut. Are you being coerced? Are you just trying to get an easy A? Is it really worth the potential backlash you both could receive? If something feels unethical or wrong, it’s probably warranted.
Question: [I] was in a very quiet study area [I] sneezed and was trying not to make a sound so [I] held it in but instead it squeezed out the world’s loudest fart ever. What should [I] do?
Dear Sneeze-Farts,
There’s only one option here. You can never return to that study area. I recommend finding a new one in an entirely new building. If someone comes up to you and asks “Hey were you that person that ripped a fat one in that study space the other day?,” just lie and tell them that you have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s the only way to protect your modesty. I wish I had some more realistic advice like laughing it off or going poop beforehand to prevent a gas buildup. Farts are funny and you made yourself the butt end of that joke.
Question: Is it truly gay to kiss the homies goodnight?
Dear I Love You Man,
This is contextual. Do you have romantic feelings or are physically attracted to the homie? The answer may be yes. Are you simply invested in their sleep health and want them to end the day knowing they’re cherished and loved? The answer may still be yes but may also be no. Platonic kissing is absolutely real and it’s up to the parties engaged to suss out the intention behind it. The flip side to this is does the homie feel the same way? Hopefully your relationship is strong enough to have these tough conversations. Be honest and vulnerable with each other. It’s bros before hoes for a reason.
