Sko Buffs, Go Rams, and Mav Up all have something in common, and its more than the first half of each phrase: they are slogans for the University of Colorado, Colorado State University and Colorado Mesa University.

These slogans are used anywhere from sporting events to pictures and if you listen closely, you can hear hearts fill with joy at the exclamation of these sacred slogans.

Now what does Bitter Buffalos, Rammy Rams Ram and Rumble Mavs have in common? They are all terrible slogans and their toxic noises don’t belong in any of the aforementioned universities.

However, quite unfortunately, there is a rumor that Rumble Mavs is an actual slogan for CMU. So to keep it from gaining any traction, let’s discuss just why it is such a bad utterance and should never be spoken again.

First thing first, there is no flow to Rumble Mavs. Mav Up is short and precise, while the abomination makes it a tongue twister of a phrase when it should be easy to spout off at the top of your lungs at a sporting event.

The three syllables make the saying a tedious thing to say and takes away from the impact of it. Go Mavs is a blunt slap in the face like any chant should be.

“But Mason, surely one extra syllable can’t be that bad,” some wrong person might say.

To that I concede, I am no barbarian and as such one extra syllable is no great feat, but it loses the power. Take a look at Sko Buffs. They don’t say Let’s Go Buffs, the third syllable makes it clunky and clumsy while the simple and elegant Sko substitute brings out the heart of the shout. The chunkiness of Rumble Mavs is a damper on the power of the slogan and should be enough to stop it in its tracks.

The second part of the Mav Up magic is that it is already cemented. Rumble Mavs would have to come and replace the current saying, and with all the homework, finals and work we all have to catch up on, there simply isn’t time to fit Rumble Mavs into our busy college schedules. The uprooting of a culture is not what we need here at CMU and the already established cheer is what should become the golden standard for our cheer.

“But Rumble Mavs is unique to the other sayings,” some poor misguided soul could say. “We should try to break the cliché and do our own thing.”

Valid point, I say, but while a healthy dose of fear for being basic is great, there is a point where following the norm is actually better. Liking cake is cliché, so are you going to eat paper cake instead to remain out of the mainstream? Treating a wound is so cliché; that is why I let all my scratches get infected.

Mav Up, while more basic than Rumble Mavs, is better because it brings in the most people. A chant at a game has to have everyone involved, a wave needs the popular support to function properly and no one is going to start lifting their legs in the air to be different from the crowd. The uniqueness of Rumble Mavs simply isn’t a beneficial aspect to the slogan in this case, as slogans are meant to be catchy and easy to say.

Together, there are so many reasons that Mav Up is so much better than the imposter Rumble Mavs. There is no reason for there to be any whispers or confusion about which CMU cheer is the best one, because Mav Up is king and Rumble Mavs is the jester for us all to laugh at and ignore. Mav Up!