Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam, Jacked, and Growler, all of these are social media platforms that have gained popularity specifically toward the gay male community. The intention of these networks was to give gays the opportunity to meet one another, whether it be for physical reasons or just to better connect with the community. This has especially benefited gays in areas where there is a lack of gay community, like Grand Junction.

Although I do not deny there are overwhelmingly positive things that have come from these apps, I find that they have opened up floodgates of shallowness in our community. I sometimes feel as though I’ve stepped into another world when I log on, and not in the happy-go-lucky, big, gay, open, and accepting world one might expect.

I think the best description of this flawed, shallow world can be seen when you look at other’s preferences. “No blacks or Latino guys” are some of the preferences you may find, followed by, “I’m not racist just a preference,” when in reality it is very openly racist if you can’t see past a person’s skin color.

Another thing that really gets to me is when I see a profile that says, “Masc dudes only, if I wanted to date a chick I’d be straight.” While wearing my size 11 platform heels, I think to myself that not only do we have racists in the gay community, but also sexists since femininity is not viewed as a desirable trait.

Another thing that makes me lose hope for the gay community is when guys feel the need to endlessly bombard me with NSFW (not safe for work) pictures rather than using social skills to carry on a conversation. I get it, these apps are a way to hook up, the likelihood of finding romance is minimal, so I can expect that some guys just want to score. But if it wouldn’t work for me in a public setting, then it probably wouldn’t work when trying to pick me up online. At least use some creativity when trying to score. A picture alone isn’t going to make me want to get busy.

When it comes down to it, sometimes these apps bring out the worse in a community. The shallowness still perplexes me. For a community that is supposed to be open and accepting of others, there sure is a lot of discrimination that goes on.

dhaynie@mavs.coloradomesa.edu