Vanessa Gross
Seriously?

As a non-traditional student, I have found that coming back to college and being older and married with two kids under the age of three sometimes can, for a lack of a better word, suck.
I say this with a smile on my face because it is what it is. I have never done anything the easy way. Nor have I ever been the girl who had my whole life mapped out for me. I used to be more of a gypsy type, living for the moment traveling whenever I wanted to. Settling down and committing to anything for too long was just not me. I just wanted to have fun without all the bother.
Now, I go to school full-time, take care of my family and work part-time from home. I appreciate the carefree path I started on and love the hectic, crazy world I’m in now. Rushing off to class, hoping that I have not overlooked anything, (like my baby girl’s leftover breakfast on my shoulder) is my life now. As my fellow students are planning what to wear for the party Friday night, I am planning my daughter’s first birthday.
The biggest challenge that I have found for myself and other non-trad mothers I have talked too, especially with younger kids, is trying to find the balance between being a college student and being a mom. The friends you have made at school, who don’t have kids, don’t always understand how hard it is sometimes to leave the house without a kid hanging from your hip. And the friends you have outside of school don’t always understand that you’re not blowing them off. You really can’t attend their candle party, you really are busy and the only time you have to do homework are the weekends.
My friend Darla is graduating this semester and like me has a family to take care of. After having to take classes part-time for what she says “feels like an eternity” all the while raising two kids and working full-time, she can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. An avid sports fan, her own children’s busy sport schedule has kept her from many Maverick sporting events she would love to attend.
When she and I were talking about our choices of coming back to school when we did, we agreed that being a good role model for our children is what keeps us on track. There is nothing like your child’s smiling faProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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looking up at you to keep you motivated.
When I made the decision to finish my degree, I had already had a career in administration. It was after the birth of my son that sealed my fate. Here was this baby that I had purposely brought into this world and I wanted the best for him. How was I going to tell him how important education was and that college is what I want for him if I didn’t live by my own words?
Mina, a 22-year-old education major with a four year old son, told me that in addition to her on campus job and heavy homework load, she doesn’t have time to think about anything else. Occasionally she does wish she could go out more at a moments notice to a party or other college event, but she has no regrets. Baby or no baby, college was going to happen regardless she said.
We all pave the paths we walk on and for some of us; we just have tiny feet helping us along the way.

vgross@mesastate.edu