This week I went to the Colorado Mesa Univesity’s (CMU) Student Wellness Center in order to get some counseling for my anxiety. I’ve been to therapy before, so I’m not a stranger to the process. However, I didn’t have the best experiences when I went to therapy during my junior and senior years of high school, so I was doubtful that therapy at CMU could help me.
One thing that I’ve wrestled with ever since I started having anxiety is the notion that maybe I don’t deserve therapy. I’m constantly attacked by thoughts like: “Maybe I’m just being over-dramatic.” or “Maybe my problems aren’t big enough to require therapy.”
I come from a well-off family, I go to a nice school, I have several opportunities for a good education and a promising career, I’m in a stable relationship and I have a loving family. I constantly feel like I have no right to complain about anything.
The main thing that held me back from seeking out help this school year was the idea that I don’t deserve to get help. Because of all the reasons listed above, I constantly feel like my problems aren’t big enough for me to reach out, even though I experience high levels of nearly dehabilitating anxiety nearly every day.
I talked to Bob Lang, the Director of Diversity, Advocacy and Health here at CMU, about this. He told me that this is actually a common problem with college students: they think that they don’t need therapy because they feel like their problems aren’t big enough.
“I think there’ve been so many stigmas and stereotypes associated with what counseling can do that I think counseling can be used for much more. People don’t necessarily have to have a problem or need to have a problem to be able to access services,” Lang said.
My therapy appointment here at CMU actually went great. It was the first appointment, so I obviously didn’t reach any breakthroughs. But I had a really great conversation with the therapist and it really made me feel better.
I still have a little bit of the feeling that I don’t deserve therapy, but my therapy appointment helped me feel like my problems were not only real but valid. I think I’ll definitely go again because I feel like it can really help me.
I wanted to share this because I want everyone to know that it’s okay to seek out help, even if you feel like you shouldn’t need help because of how nice your life looks on the outside.
The bottom line is, we all have things going on inside that might be really challenging, and it’s alright to admit that perhaps we need help. Bob Lang would agree, as he said – therapy isn’t exclusively for people with severe problems; therapy is for everyone.
“The truth is, life is difficult and school is difficult. So when you’re experiencing those difficulties, whether or not you have anxiety or depression or if you’re just dealing with the stress associated with it, then you should be able to ask access and reach out for those resources and supports that are available here on campus,” Lang said.
I know that going to therapy can’t fix all of my anxiety, but I’m hopeful that maybe, now that I’m getting help, I’ll start feeling better in my day to day life. I’m looking forward to my next therapy appointment, and I’m also looking forward to learning how to successfully live with my anxiety without letting it hold me back.
