by Becky Wright
The summer of 2014 changed my life. I was working as a server and bartender, in addition to working two other part-time jobs. I was definitely busy, but I was able to easily support my family of four. I was offered a full-time position at the restaurant I was working in and decided that was the answer to supporting my family and not working 18-hour days.
However, after working for the company more than five years, I was fired. It was not only the first time I had ever lost a job, I was immediately vulnerable to losing where I lived within the month. I had few options and felt incredibly insecure about my future.
I had originally attended college immediately out of high school. I received an associate’s degree but had a near fatal car accident while attending Texas Tech during my junior year. I was in a wheelchair for six months and had my son 12 weeks premature as a result.
Needless to say, I did not finish my degree. It wasn’t until I lost my job in June of 2014 that the ramifications of not finishing really hit home. I was in my mid-thirties and had little future put together. In that moment of realization, I filled out an application for CMU, financial aid and crossed my fingers while I pressed ‘send.’
Two years later, I am graduating this December with a bachelor’s degree in mass communication; and the future is not only secure, it is bright. Yet the cost has been significant; not just financially, but as a parent.
Being the mother of my family is a role that I not only take seriously, I absolutely love it. I was a Cub Scout den mother, the treasurer of the PTA, and always had homemade treats for classroom parties and my kids never wondered if I would make it to a performance or field trip. I knew all of my children’s teachers and volunteered in their classrooms. The kids regularly had friends over and we spent every evening eating dinner together and working on their homework. When I started college, it all changed.
This year, I don’t know any of the kids’ teachers and I missed half of my daughter’s volleyball games for the season.
I know I am not alone in the challenge of balancing school and parenting. Andrea Dueser-Thompson is a college student and mother of two.
“The hardest part about being a college student and a parent is missing out on so much of my kids’ lives. When I’m not [at] school and my internship, I am holed up in my room writing papers. I have gotten better as the years have gone by, but I still miss out on a lot of quality time I could be spending with my children,” Dueser-Thompson said.
“I used to throw these beautiful birthday parties for my kids, and have fun get-togethers/activities with their friends, and now I don’t do that. This year for my daughter’s birthday, I bought her a cake last minute because I got held up at school, and just didn’t have the time to make her one. Halloween is coming up, and before I started school I would go all out and make my kids costumes, help with their classroom parties and [supply] the class with snacks. I haven’t even thought about my kids’ costumes yet, and I haven’t volunteered in my kids’ classrooms in a few years now. The one thought that gets me through a day, and keeps my fire going to finish school, is that I will be making a positive change for my family’s financial situation, and hopefully, my children see my hard work and dedication and use it as an example for their future.”
Single mom Jordance Reed says trying to schedule classes and manage her son’s schedule has been difficult. Often Reed has required class time and her son has the entire day off from school. It has been a constant balancing act of being present in class and making sure her son is not left alone.
The agreement my children and I have is this: we are a family, and family supports one another through life, no matter what. So, while we have not had new clothes or vacations in years, and ramen noodle is often a meal, we are all going to college in a sense.
I spend a lot of hours dedicated to homework and being on campus. While I may not know who my children’s teachers are in person, I have emailed them.
That has to be enough for now. I am showing my children that sacrifice and dedication, coupled with a sheer stubborn attitude and perseverance, will make our family stronger. College has not just made our financial future stronger, it strengthened the values of our family.
