A Letter from our Student Body President

Dear Fellow Mavericks,

I want to start a conversation about breaking down walls and stepping out of boxes. Too often we don’t talk about our identities, we don’t share where we are coming from and what we’ve experienced, and then, after we don’t do any of these things, we choose to be offended when someone says or does something that hurts us. I understand this can be difficult – trust me, I do – but right here and now I am writing to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, to open up, and to get to know the people around you – especially those who are different from you. They might be a different skin color, a different religion, a different sexual orientation, or they’re simply just different. Perhaps if we all listen to others, share our experiences, and from time to time take a step back to remember we all come from different places, we can stop being divided and start working together to help each other get past their struggles.

With that in mind I am going to lead by example and get real with you. Like, really real. If you read on you will get to know things that before I didn’t share with many people for fear of what the future would hold if the world around me knew. But when I see so many out there struggling through a journey not unlike my own and missing out on the help all around them… well I thought maybe my story could show them that they are not alone.

    Many people know that I am a follower of Jesus Christ and have long identified myself as a Christian, but few people know that I could also identify myself as gay. For many reasons, however, I have not been comfortable actually accepting my sexuality and, as such, I haven’t in the past openly identified myself as gay (if you want to talk about that bit of my life come ask me, I would love to chat). The short version is that between my family, my faith, and overcoming a childhood of thinking my life was going in a different direction it has not been an easy road to get the point that I can even say all of this. But as I said, I have noticed something in the world around me that has compelled me to write this and if it can serve to help just one person, then it will have been worth it.

Our culture tells everyone to be accepting – to “do you” if you will – and to respect others’ opinions, but when it comes down to it we rarely follow through and

support these ideals. For myself during my freshman year of college I met a lot of people who said that terrible phrase of “you do you”, but as soon as I told them that I was struggling to accept my sexuality, well now all of a sudden I was just conforming to my parents’ vision for me and I needed to simply do what I wanted to do. The ironic thing is that they were ignoring the fact that by struggling with two conflicting identities, I was in fact “doing me”, and it was they who were trying to force me to fit in their box. But with the world around me telling me to be something else I all of a sudden had too many factors in my life pulling me in conflicting directions. So I started to lie awake and think way too much leading into an extremely emotional second semester. I continued to struggle through a lot of this on my own and I didn’t make much progress until I realized that I had resources all around me. I saw a counselor through BCS on campus and I realized that my RAs and fellow Mavericks were a great resource as well. For myself I felt like an important voice was missing in all this though so I also sought out a community at one of the local churches.

Now two years later and hours and hours of conversation and thinking I have found that I don’t have to know where I am at with my sexuality, it is ok to struggle through it right now and by continuing to use my resources I will get there someday (where “there” is has yet to be determined). But if you are someone who struggles with your sexuality or has struggled with suicidal thoughts (I’m there with you on that too) or have any other issue weighing you down there is no reason for you to struggle alone. I’m writing this to let you know that it is ok to struggle, or to question, or to go against what others think your life should be, but it’s not ok to think you have to do all that alone.

    College is a hard time, you learn a lot about yourself and you don’t always have your family around to lean on (and sometimes that is not even an option); so I want you to know that your family can be here, on this campus, and that as Mavericks we are here for each other. Know that I am here for you however you need me, whether that is someone to talk to who understands, or as a resource to refer you to the right place, my office door is always open. But above all, find the support system you need to find for where you want to be in your life. That might be counselors, the resources through Bob Lang’s office, a friend, a professor, your RA, a church in the Valley, or maybe even myself as someone who knows what it’s like. The important thing is that you don’t stay silent whether it is you going through this or a fellow Maverick. You have people all around you who are waiting with open arms to help.