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Posted on: February 26th, 2012 3 Comments

Growing tired of nice guys finishing last


I hate women.
That’s not true. I love women, but they’ve caused me the most frustration in my life thus far.
The phrase “nice guys finish last” is all too true, seeing as most girls will use almost any excuse they can to avoid dating a nice guy: “He’s too nice,” “all the good guys are taken,” “we’re just good friends.”
Please ladies, spare me, I’ve heard them all before. So why is it that the majority of the time the careless jerk, we’ll refer to him as Chad McSexy, gets the girl over us, sweet and caring guys? I’ve narrowed the answer down to three reasons.
1. Nice guys are generally not very confident. This sucks because girls eat up confidence like a box of chocolate unicorns covered in pixie dust sprinkles. Women love men who have a good sense of who they are. Chad McSexy gets girls because he has the ability to pretend he’s got that sense. But nice guys aren’t good actors. Sure, we’re more likely to be romantic and good-hearted but we don’t have the confidence to show it, not at first anyway. The truth is, ladies, you intimidate us and it takes a while to become comfortable with you.
2. Chad McSexy is a very good con man. Whether it’s intentional or not, it’s easy for him to make girls think he’s an actual “nice guy.” He’s vulnerable and insecure and- *BEEEEEEEEP* Oh sorry, that’s my BS Detector going off again. My point is, Chad McSexy is a good deceiver because, on the outside, he’s already all the things women like. He’s got a great smile and a charismatic personality. Nice guys just don’t usually come in that neat of a package. We’re not outgoing, or have fun in the same ways you do, and are probably into things that only we find cool. But if given the chance, we’ll hop into our X-Wings and blow that Death Star to a million pieces, just for you.
3. Girls don’t understand that the rules of attraction don’t come naturally to nice guys. You ladies expect us to know when to make a move, what to say when we introduce ourselves, or how to know if you like us back. I was talking to a girl today about this very subject and she said, “Girls aren’t hard to read. . . you can tell when we like you, we give you this look.” To which I immediately thought, “There’s a look?” Some universal look that women give to men they’re attracted to? How was I supposed to know this?” You girls think we know these things about you, when really we have about as much of a clue as to why you guys get so much enjoyment out of reality television.
So ladies, cut the nice guys some slack. We’re truly sorry we reference so many dorky things, play a lot of video games, and don’t have Ryan Reynolds’ abs. But this doesn’t mean we should be cast out and left bitter and alone because of it. Give us a chance to become the men you never thought we could be. Who knows? We may surprise you. Don’t immediately give up on us because we’re “too nice” or “too clingy,” we haven’t had much practice at this stuff, after all. If something is bothering you about the relationship, talk to us. Teach us how to be the kind of guys that girls want to date, while still keeping our morality and sweetness intact. And for the love of God, stop giving in to the Chad McSexys of the world. You’re better than that.

3 Responses

  1. marissacetin says:

    I found this article through this USA Today College Post: http://www.usatodayeducate.com/staging/index.php/campus-beat/spring-cleaning-time-college-style

    This piece is a prime example of Nice Guy Syndrome. (http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Nice_guy_syndrome)

    The only reason why girls won’t date you is not because they prefer “jerks” to “nice guys,” it’s because they don’t like you, likely due to that attitude. A girl does not owe you anything because you were nice to her, especially sex. The moronic logic you’re using to defend your “nice guy”-ness inherently makes you not a nice guy.

    Instead of sulking and blaming girls for not dating you because they supposedly like “sexy jerks” more than you, a “nice guy,” stop being passive and pluck up the courage and confidence to show her you’re someone she wants to date. There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a girl and sharing feelings and whatnot. However, just because you’re there for her when she needs to vent doesn’t mean you’re doing everything you can to attract her and are entitled to win her feelings.

    Stop making excuses and blaming others. That’s not what a real nice guy is. That’s called being an ass and doesn’t make you any better than Chad McSexy who is supposedly a dreadful human being.

    I’m a journalist and I understand the importance of freedom of the press and speech, but I’m appalled this bitter, sexist rant was published.

    (Also, I apologize for any typos or run-on sentences.)

  2. chrismcl says:

    We seem to be having conflicting definitions for “nice guy”. A nice guy isn’t someone who’s kind to women because he expects something in return – he’s kind to women because that’s just what a good man does. I’m tired of being pidgeonholed into that idea of “I’m gonna sit and listen to you talk about your boyfriend for two hours so that someday you’ll come to your senses and have sex with me.” That’s not a nice guy at all, nor was that the kind of guy I am talking about when I refer to “nice guys.” Not all men are constantly thinking about what we can do to get into your pants. A nice guy is someone who listens to you talk about your boyfriend for two hours because we can see you’re upset and want to help in any way we can.

    This article wasn’t supposed to be about entitlement or blaming others – though I can see that after some time has gone by, it does tend to come off that way – it was more about seeing things from a different perspective. Unfortunately, our perspectives are SO different that I don’t really see an understanding between the two ever occurring, which is the biggest problem with this disagreement in the first place. I have my thoughts and you have yours – and it would appear that both of us are too stubborn to see it any differently.

  3. Leslie says:

    Did it ever occur to you “nice guys” that you didn’t finish last because you’re just SOOOO incredibly nice? And that maybe there is a different reason the girl didn’t want to date you other than your absence of rudeness? Maybe you lack personality? Self-confidence? Similarities to us? Communication skills? A job? Intelligence? Goals? Similar values? Maybe you’re boring? Maybe you whine too much? Maybe she’s simply not attracted to you? Being nice is not the reason she won’t date you. You can’t expect chemistry when there is none, and blame it on how nice you are.

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