Mavroon is the greatest color ever

The name change isn’t remotely a ridiculous effort at pandering

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It’s official; our new color is Mavroon. No, that is not a typo. I deliberately put a “v” in the middle of maroon. We have indeed found a new way to throw the word “mav” into something.

I couldn’t be happier with the change. This is great for students, great for the school and, quite frankly, great for America. There’s absolutely nothing completely ridiculous about it at all.

I think we should celebrate Mavroon and give it all the credit a genius name like it deserves. There are so many great benefits, that in the end, it really only makes sense. In fact, I don’t know why we haven’t thought of doing this earlier.

First of all, it just rolls off the tongue with such ease. Mavroon is so smooth it flows out of the mouth like molasses, similar to words like “worcestershire” and “otorhinolaryngologist.”

It’s almost like those moments when you get embarrassed because you try to say two words at once and they come out in a weird combination of the two. In fact, it just may be how our new amazing word came into existence.

Maybe someone was trying to say something about Maverick spirit at the same time they were thinking about the antiquated color maroon and it came out “Mavroon.” Then they sat back and grinned because they knew their little accident was pure gold.

Now that we will sound like we are mixing up two words that don’t quite fit, if we get it right, we will sound like awesome people embracing school spirit. If, on the other hand, we mess it up, the worst we can do is say “maroon,” so nobody will notice our glaring verbal blunder.

Some naysaying people, that are perhaps mature, reasonable and trying not to shudder or bury their heads in shame when uttering the color name, may think it’s mere pandering. Perhaps such individuals think it’s becoming silly to add “mav” to everything under the sun.

I say it hasn’t gone far enough. We need to make our presence known. We need to make sure that students, faculty and the Grand Junction community as a whole are constantly aware of our university.

Let’s “mav” everything. Seriously. Everything.

I want to wake up to my mavlarm blaring at me from my mavphone. I’ll pour coffee from my mavpot into my mavmug so I can drive down Mavstreet on my way to the Colorado Mesa Maversity. There, I will get my mavucation alongside my mavily.

If readers are rolling their mavballs, I suppose I can’t blame them.

In all seriousness, I love this school. There are many reasons to proud to be a Maverick. Those reasons should be celebrated and highlighted. Maybe then we could cultivate more student involvement.

Slapping the name “mav” on everything isn’t going to increase school pride or get more than 10 percent of the student body to vote in elections. Mavroon isn’t going to encourage better attendance at events.

The name change is just plain silly. It doesn’t change the fact that the color maroon is going to be maroon no matter what additional letters we attach to it. What it can do, however, is cause a lot of people to think of us as a joke.

Maybe instead of changing names, we can look for better ways to enhance our image to students and the community as a whole.

Or maybe not. After all, University Boulevard was such an overwhelming success.