Joe Azar

Well, this is it. This is the final issue of the semester and with it brings the last “Bad Luck Joe.” If you have read my previous stories, thank you, I hope you realized no matter what happens in your life you’ll at least not be as dumb as I am. If you think that my stories couldn’t get any worse, trust me it’s about to. This is the worst thing I have ever done in my life.

   I am a guy who lives life without regrets. I’m a firm believer that anything that happens to you, good or bad, was meant to happen. Divorces, deaths, a bad date, it doesn’t matter. It may not be clear at first, but eventually, you’ll realize why that event occurred. Because of this, I don’t have many regrets, except for one day in Team Sports back in high school.

   Like any testosterone-filled boy trying to fit in, I attempted to join an extra activity back in my school. Liking sports, I naturally wanted to try out for a team. I decided to join baseball, and my goodness did I suck. But I am a positive individual, and I kept on practicing on trying to make the team even though realistically, it was nearly impossible.

After a while of practicing, I did get slightly better, and for some weird reason, I thought that by playing well in my team sports class, I was magically going to grab someone’s attention and get on the team. Obviously, I was ecstatic when we started playing baseball in the class. I was going to show what I was made of, and boy did I.

Being stupid boys, everyone in the class thought it would be funny to hold the bat backward and hit the ball with the wrong end of the bat. Seems harmless at first, but no one realized that there was no handle to stop your hands from slipping. About four or five people used the bat backward without any hiccups before I was up.

It only took one pitch for me. The ball was way too far outside for me to hit, but since I am god awful at the sport, I thought I could reach it. I leaned far to my right and swung at the ball, and swung as hard as I could. I didn’t get any of the balls, but the bat did make contact with something. The only problem was it made contact with someone’s head. Since I reached so far I lost control of the bat, it slipped out of my hands and made a direct shot at a girl’s head. It split her skull open, and she had to go to the hospital to get a metal plate put in her head. I felt terrible; I feel bad enough when I step on a fly, let alone almost kill someone.

Thankfully, she was incredibly gracious and realized it was an accident. She had a scar on her forehead for a while, and every time I saw her I just felt awful for what I did. Again, I live life to the fullest, but if I have one regret in life, it’s that moment.

Well, there you have it. Congratulations, you have just read a story about a goofball who wanted to play baseball and ended up almost killing this poor, innocent girl. There are plenty of things I’m lucky to have in my life, though. A great group of friends, being able to live in a country without giant spiders and study at a school that helps me work toward my career. No matter what, though, I’ll always remember I’m Bad Luck Joe, and you never know when misfortunes will once again strike.