by Frank Siggy
Fear. Fear is that distinct emotion we have all experienced. Whether it was during an exam, a diagnosis or even a surgery. Fear happens to us all, and it’s never a pleasant experience.
It has no race, ethnicity, religion or political agenda. Fear can happen to anyone and for a multitude of reasons. Fear does not discriminate.
It’s important to know you are not alone. Everyone deals with fear; it’s human nature to be afraid of lions, tigers and bears. To be honest, fear has kept us alive to some extent.
By experiencing fear we learn how to navigate through the world around us safely and cautiously. We do our best to go unharmed, unstressed and unscathed- even though it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes we misjudge situations and make mistakes, but that’s the beauty of it all.
The experiences that fill our minds with doubt and our hearts with fear can seriously teach us about ourselves, but only if we let them.
We learn the most from the experiences that impact us. It’s those experiences that leave a strong impression that can truly shape us, even though that might be for the better or worse. It is up to us to process what has happened and what might happen in these situations.
Fear can lie and make something appear worse than it actually is; it can create illusions and exaggerations of the world around us. Even our past experiences can feel more intense than they truly were.
However, we can always look at those experiences and the ones to come with a different angle. We can put them under a different light and see the silver lining; even when it seems impossible.
It’s all a lot like trying out seafood. Sometimes it smells good, looks good and tastes terrible. Then you go home with food poisoning and can’t look at another squid without gagging. Other times it can look alien and intimidating but for whatever reason you can’t get enough of it- and now it’s your favorite dish.
For the most part, fear is here to protect us, but it also teaches us. It’s up to you to slow down the fear and ground yourself. It’s you who decides how you react and it’s you who decides when to stand up and make a change; whether it’s asking for help killing a spider, seeking guidance for a past trauma or simply asking your professor to elaborate.
The world can be a dangerous and scary place, but not as much as we believe it to be. We all have a different view of the reality in front of us. Some see it one way, while others see it another. What we have experienced and how we experienced it brought us to this way of seeing the world. Everyone has a part of them that can be angry, depressed, stressed or fearful. But it’s important to remember: you are the one who is in control and you’re not alone.
Fear can cause many of us to focus on the negatives, feelings of isolation and to obsessively worry about the unknown. It causes us to lose sight of where we are right now and what we could be doing to make this moment better.
Anxiety and fear are always working together. It’s when you know the answer, but you’re too nervous to respond because you don’t want to be wrong. It’s when you want to share something you created, but end up hiding it because of the fear of how others will evaluate it. Some fear being wrong, while others fear being themselves.
Everyone experiences fear differently, but one thing is consistent: it prevents us from doing and achieving what we want to. It convinces us we shouldn’t and that it’s too difficult. For some, like myself, fear can feel so strong and impossible to avoid, that it can be debilitating.
Even though we feel alone at times, it’s important to remember we are all living and existing together. Fear is what prevents this and divides us. It clouds our judgments and convinces us to interpret the world around us through fear and isolation.
We hold ourselves back because of the threats we think exist. Again, the world may seem dangerous and scary, but we can’t allow this outlook to control and dominate us. Fear is powerful and will take over- but only if you let it.
Whether through nature or nurture, through our experiences or genetics, fear is a big part of us. But that doesn’t mean it’s the defining part of who we are or will be. We don’t always have to listen to fear. At times, it can be hard to push through. But sometimes, you have to disregard your initial response and take that leap of faith; you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.
For those looking for insights, I welcome you to email me. Whether you want to discuss upcoming topics, ideas or to vent, I’m always here for you and always will be.
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Upcoming topic: Depression and Isolation
