Question: I’m craving something that doesn’t exist. How do I force a multi billion dollar company to produce something for me. I need banana flavored monster energy.
Dear Diabolical Drinker,
This combination is by far the most dastardly concoction I’ve ever come across. There’s something commendable about wanting to advocate for things that you want, but why is this the hill you’re wanting to die on? Banana is such a creamy flavor and to add bubbles and energy sounds like a cursed beverage. To answer your question though, you could start an email or letter-writing campaign to the development department for Monster Energy. If you know a chemistry student, you could see about developing your own prototype to submit to them. You could run down to Juice Junction in the rec center and see if they could whip
something up as well. They’ve been making some really crazy changes to the menu so maybe they would be excited to include something so nasty. Who knows, maybe this is an untapped market with the potential to make you millions. Or maybe, it’s an absolutely disgusting idea and you’re the only person that wants something like this. Either way, it’s beautiful that you have found a goal to work towards.