by Tyler Fransen
For those of you who have been blissfully living under a rock throughout the 2016 presidential race, the two major party candidates and the two leading third party candidates are as follows: Democrat Hillary Clinton, Republican Donald Trump, Libertarian Gary Johnson and Green Party nominee Jill Stein.
These four candidates have been tasked with representing their respective parties as they attempt to prove to the American people that they should be in charge. And they are doing a terrible job at that. Trump has said some “controversial” things – to put it lightly. Secretary Clinton has made some “ethically questionable” decisions at best. Johnson’s a nice guy and all, but President? And Jill is… well she’s Jill. But these are our four candidates, people, and we’re just going to have to live with them. Or do we?
Normally I would say, vote for the lesser of four evils, but therein lies the problem: They’re all evil! They represent different kinds of evil though, much like the different villains of Star Wars lore.
For example, we have the Darth Vader of candidates, Secretary Clinton. Losing of classified materials such as Death Star plans and emails notwithstanding, the comparisons between these two are pretty eerie. Both were once proud and noble figures who let their hearts grow dark and be seduced by the dark side. Both do most of the dirty work for the empire, using shady tactics to get the job done and both will probably choke you if you disagree with them.
Then you have the Boba Fett of the race, Johnson. Initially they were cool and very popular on the internet, but they were never going to make a considerable difference to the overall story. Anybody could have fit into the role of Boba Fett and Libertarian candidate for president. That, and Boba Fett has like six minutes of screen time, which is about the same amount Johnson has of air time.
Next up is the Captain Phasma of the race, Stein. The obvious comparison between these two is they’re both women, but Stein and Phasma also share the trait of just standing there. Phasma was hyped up to be this awesome character with female empowerment, but instead she’s on screen for 30 seconds and goes down like a punk. Stein was supposed to be the alternative to the disgruntled Bernie Sanders supporters who wouldn’t support Clinton and actually give the Green Party a respectable candidate.
Instead, she appeals to anti-vaccers, has no real government experience and doesn’t have a clue about the nuances and complexities of our economy.
And then there is the coup de gras, the creme de la creme, the hair piece to end all hair pieces, the Emperor Palpatine of this election, Trump.
The Emperor is, plain and simply, the embodiment of evil. He does not care one iota if the things he says generate hatred in people. He will not stop until he gets what he wants, be it Anakin Skywalker turning evil, or building a death star and getting Mexico to pay for it.
In America, the number of students studying abroad is notably increasing at a slower rate compared to other countries, according to statistics provided by the Institute of International Education. As millennials, our generation is quite different from our parents and most other generations.
We aren’t the generation that strives for the American Dream with the idea of a successful career, perfect marriage and two and a half kids. We are not shackled down to the American Dream or tradition yet we still care about the future of America.
Our generation cares much more about the authenticity, experiences and happiness found in life. We support movements like Beating 50 Percent, Feminism, the Tiny
House Movement and Black Lives Matter. Our generation is apart of a bigger picture that revolves around improving the quality of life for everyone.
One of the best ways to see the whole picture is experiencing a place or culture beyond America and ourselves: it’s the world. Studying abroad opens the eyes of students’ lives by submerging them into an educational setting in another culture and country.
Whatever your setback is, I hope you find time to examine the pros and cons of studying abroad. Take time to sit down with an advisor to discuss the option to study abroad. Find a financial aid counselor to help you create a plan to save and pay off your time abroad. Be ready to expand your horizons and gain a new perspective.
In fact,it would not surprise me, given how Trump has praised other dictators, if one day he decides to give a stump speech about the Emperor. It might even go something like this:
“You know the Emperor may be evil, but at least he knows how to lead, okay folks? And let me tell you something folks, he built the Death Star, great Death Star, best Death Star you ever seen, okay? We are going to build the greatest Death Star you have ever seen, and we are going to make the Empire great again!”
So rather than voting for evil in this election, why not voteforgood,whynotvotefor the light side, why not vote– wait for it–for Princess Leia? It may sound crazy, but think about it! If you still want to vote for a female President, she’s the perfect choice. She became a General in Episode VII so you know her foreign policy experience is tight. She’s diplomatic, charming, tenacious and carries herself in a dignified and respectable manner – even when wearing a metal bikini chained to a slug.
So my friends, make the responsible choice this election cycle and vote for Princess Leia in 2016. It is the only way we can truly bring balance to the force, and truly make the Empire great again. #PrincessLeia4president.
(Disclaimer: Don’t actually write in Princess Leia for President, but do please vote in this election, it is your civic and patriotic duty).
