by Joe Azar

With Halloween and the celebration of fear just finishing up, I figured this would be the best time to discuss my very own phobia. I honestly find it funny how people mock each other for being scared of something. Someone who is scared of spiders is mocked by another person who would wet themselves if a bee came buzzing toward them.

Everyone has their fears, things that would make them jump out of their pants at the mere sight. However, mine particularly is of bad luck because, well, it’s a common sighting everywhere on the planet. My phobia is birds.

Now before we get to the usual part where you laugh in your head and wonder if I ate paint chips as a kid, I’m going to rebuttal. First off, this is an actual phobia called Amathophobia and I’m not the only one who has it. David Beckham has the phobia too, and any time I am compared to someone that good at soccer and that good looking I’m taking it as a compliment.

Thing two, I’m afraid of every bird. It’s not like I’m going to burn my house down if a small robin flies over my head. But medium-sized to big birds, especially eagles and other birds of prey, I am terrified of. I hate them, they are stupid and have a stupid beak that can bite you and hurt you. And good God, have you seen the videos where they pick up children with their talons and drop them to their doom, how are you not scared of that?

This fear can be traced back to my grandfather. Sadly, my grandfather passed away when I was seven so I didn’t get to know him too well, but I do remember his love for birds. The man loved those devil creatures with wings, so much so that he had a cage full of small parakeets that was still up and running when I left Venezuela.

In addition to the birds, we also had fish, dogs and a turtle I named Squirtle after my favorite Pokemon (I dare you to come up with a better pet name than that). My grandpa’s prize, though, was our McCaw.

My grandpa (whose name was Chukre FYI; don’t ask how a Lebanese family ended up in Venezuela, I have no clue) was also a prankster, though. He loved messing with everyone in the family, and as the only grandchild at the time, I was got my fair share of practical jokes.

When I was just a small child, my grandpa decided to take the Bird From Hell and put it right next to my ear. Naturally I freaked out and it scared the bird. My grandpa probably thought the joke was over there, but that stupid creature proceeded to bite me multiple times in the ear, and I was terrified. Ever since then, my phobia has been the animals in the sky. Everyone has their fears, but it’s just my luck that mine is so unavoidable.