by Tyler Fransen

We’re barely back to school for a week and already I want a vacation. Sure, I could wait until spring break, but that’s so far away! Come to think of it, as of writing this, I can’t remember when spring break is, but I know it can’t come soon enough.

Sure, I could straight up ditch my classes, but I’m fairly certain my mother would end me if I did that. So that’s off the table. Not to mention the fact that I’m graduating in May and refuse to be upended by spontaneous ditching of classes.

School could just be canceled for the next few days and that would make my life better, but school closures are far and few between these days.

I remember in elementary school I would beg and plead with every spiritual being in the book for a snow day. I’ve even heard tales of bizarre rituals my friends would do to bring on a snow day, which ranges from sleeping next to a potato to flushing ice cubes down the toilet. Strange as they were, if they produced even the slightest hint of a weather related school cancellation no one would ask any questions.

Nowadays in college school closures would cause a laundry list of logistical nightmares affecting parking, food service, tests and all that other jazz. In the two years I’ve been attending Colorado Mesa University I think we’ve only had one or two “snow days,” and I had bronchitis for one of them so I couldn’t really enjoy it (it’s hard to enjoy anything really when you’re coughing up a lung).

So since I can’t wait for the school district or the board of directors to cancel class, and since I’m in no power to just ditch, I’m just going to have to live with the consequences of being in school; even though I don’t want to. Or, I could just take a week off and head on up to the world’s largest ball of yarn, or perhaps the world’s largest rocking chair.

Ah, yes! A vacation! Premeditated ditching of classes that involves a metric ton of planning, and will ultimately cause me to go into debt and require another vacation to relieve the stress of the vacation I just took; what a brilliant idea!

Where could I go for such a trip? Well let’s see, I could drive to Utah and go hiking, although that requires a car and gas money. I possess neither, so that option is out. I could fly from Grand Junction to somewhere. Let’s see what ticket prices are like out of Grand Junction Regional Airport…hmm… okay, nevermind.

What about a staycation? Where I stay at home and relax? It’s cheaper, I don’t have to leave, and I can walk around in my pajamas all day; sounds like fun! Except for the part where I don’t go anywhere and I end up re-watching seasons one, two and three of “The West Wing” on Netflix, while drowning myself in potato chips and Diet Coke, accomplishing nothing.

Ooh, what if I get my friend who has a car to convince him of a road trip? Come on, it’ll be fun, we’ll make so many memories, and yes I’m aware they have classes, a life, work and a need for gas money that I can’t provide at the moment, but hey, memories.

Well looks like I’m going to be stuck here until spring break staring at an image of a beach on Google images. Until I can actually go to the beach. So until then, welcome back Mavericks, and let us now hope that spring break comes along sooner rather than later.