I’m not crying, you’re crying! Okay fine, I’m crying, but what’s the big deal? I put a lot of hard work into this column, and for what? To have it all just go away in the blink of an eye? I don’t know how I can go on. I don’t know what to do with my life.

I mean yeah, sure, I can’t write for the Criterion anymore because I’m graduating, and have some job prospects, but come on!

Oh well, it’s pointless to fight it, I just have to accept it.  My life is over now, there’s no more meaning to it. “Tyler’s Tirades” will now just be Tyler yelling into the bottom of his empty beer glass.

I guess since this is the last one, I should go out with a bang, but what am I going to write? Am I going to rant about overpriced food on and around campus? Will I say something enlightening about Americans’ choice of healthcare providers? Is this the piece where I finally discuss how I wish my neighbors would turn their speakers off for like five godforsaken minutes while I’m taking a shower?

No, I don’t like any of those. But what about simply, a thank you letter? Hmm, you know what? I like that idea.

It’s at this point that I need to get serious, unless you thought I was already being serious, in which case, don’t worry, it’s okay, I don’t actually think my life is meaningless. I need to take the last column I will write for the Crite, and acknowledge the people that got me to this point.

First, I need to thank you, the readers of the Criterion, the viewers of CMU-TV and the listeners of KMSA. You give me a reason for doing this and without you, it simply wouldn’t be worth it.

To the editors of the Criterion: for their tireless work and extraordinary efforts to make the newspaper the titan of an organization that it is. You made my writing better and you made my days brighter, even with some of the jokes hurled at my expense in the Crite office.  

To my staff and advisor at KMSA 91.3: you made my job fun. While I found myself under a pretty decent amount of stress from this enterprise, it was well worth it because of people like you. I was a better manager because of you, and I look forward to seeing what you accomplish in the future.

To my Mass Comm professors, both at my old school, and here at Colorado Mesa University: I learned the most from you not just because you were veterans of your field and masters of your craft, but because you formulated a bond with your students that not many other majors get. Not to mention, you were kind, caring and understanding of your students, but weren’t afraid to give tough love when it was needed. The impact you had on me is immeasurable, and the knowledge I gained by being in your presence was well worth it.

To the friends I made at my old school: while contact with you has been limited, know that your friendship still means the world to me. That you would even consider me a part of your lives, is beyond me, but I’m grateful for it nonetheless.

To friends from days of old: we don’t speak much like we used to, but it’s probably for the better, because I know you’re doing incredible things. I may not see or hear from you, but I am cheering you on in all your ventures.

To my current friends at CMU: I could not have asked for a better group of people to be with on a daily basis. As stressful as things would get, at the end of the day we all came together and it made whatever tension or angst I was feeling that day all go away. Truly, I say nothing is as scary if you have your best friends to do it along with you.

And lastly, there is a group of people called my family that would probably be pretty ticked if they didn’t get a thanks from me. My mom, dad, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course my two dogs; thank you for your love, and thank you for your never ending support. I would not be here — literally and metaphorically — without you.

Well, guess that’s it then. No more “Tyler’s Tirades.” But I guess it’s a good thing; it’s probably not that healthy to be so angry all the time.

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